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T H K 
MERRY-GO-ROUND 




"TJic Boys zcerc Jiaving a splendid sail 
Till tlicy chanced to meet a passing zcliale.' 



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THE 



I MERRY-GO-ROUND 



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By / 

CAROLYN WELLS 

With Drawings by 

PETER NEWELL 



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R. H. RUSSELL, 
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fTHE LIBRARY OF 
CONGRESS, 
Two Copies Received 

SEP. 11 1901 

9 Copyright entry 

CLASS ^:Uxxc. n«. 

I COPY B. 






, • •• ••• ••• 



Copyright^ 1 90 1 
Robert Howard Russell 



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TO 



ELIZABETH STEPHENS WELLS 



CONTENTS 

Mut^ Pies I 

T/ie Rude Wagon i 

A Merry Monarch 5 

'The Gorgeous Giraffe 6 

An Important Discovery 9 

The Bad Potato 10 

A Birthday Treat 13 

A Gratified Ambition 1 5 

Pompey^s Christmas 16 

The ^agga s Secret 23 

A ^ueer Hospital 24 

A Call on a Ball 25 

The Unkempt Trunk 26 

An Alphabet of Inanimates 29 

In China 34 

A Hero i^c^ 

The Careless Bottle '^G 

Three Silly Sailors 39 

That Cherry Tree 41 

Sir Marmaduke Mars 43 

JVhen Santa Claus was III 48 

The Stony Hearted Griffin 52 

A Victim to Advice K^'i^ 

The Vain Lady Fingers 54 

The Three Wise Boys 57 

A Marvelous Menagerie 58 

The Goat 61^ 

The Silly Pencils • 64 



C O N 7^ E N r S 

^ ^eer Voyage 67 

A Friend in Need 68 

'The Fish's Wish y i 

The Animals' Fair 72 

A Concatenation 75 

The Funny Bunny 75 

The Heedless Rake 76 

In the Kitchen 79 

The Piggity Wig 80 

The Three Wishes 81 

A Narrow Escape 85 

The Saucy Cabbage 86 

The Night Before Christmas 89 

An Awful Fate 90 

The Canner 90 

The Naughty Little Geranium 91 

A Competent Artist 92 

A Great Singer 92 

7^/?^" Career of the Cooky Cat 94 

The Flying House 96 

^ Weighty Matter , 98 

'Tze;^ Invalids 98 

T^^ Valiant Rabbit 99 

^T-^^ Naughty Cat iot 

7"/?^ Untidy Clock 102 

^ Z)^//y Dialogue , 105 

Y^ ^/>/<^ Z.^^ 1 1 o 

TOd" P/> 1 10 

A Vexed Question ' 1 1 1 



C O N T E N 1 S 

Alphabet Antics 1 1 2 

A Traveler 1 1 7 

Retribution i i 8 

The Adventurous Kangaroo 120 

Belinda Bumble 121 

7'/^^ Polite Deer 123 

T'he Bad Adder 125 

Precaution 1 2 6 

Twi? Models \i6 

A Christmas Party 127 

y^ Windfall 129 

T"/^^ Naughty Kettle 130 

y^ Serious Defect 133 

Z)o/'^ ^ery 134 

yf Funny Little Girl 135 

Another Visit of St. Nicholas 136 

T"/?^ Weathercock , 140 

7'^^ C/i^;;? 140 

TT^d" T^^/j"^ Firecracker 141 

Wasted Opportunities 142 

7"^^ Crumps of Crumpletown 1 43 

Cinderella Up-to-Date 149 

7'^^" Whistling Whale 1 50 

/i^ Christmas Alphabet i ; i 

77/^" Pompous Porpoise 152 



MUD PIKS 

a.-^ ^.-j. .j^. ^^- ^^ 4.^ 4.-{. 4.-J, -j^ 4.-J. 4^ 4_^ 4^. ^-{. 4.4. ^4- ^^- 4.-^- .j—i- 4.-J. 4.-{. 

OF all the enjoyments under the skies, 
There's nothing so jolly as making mud 
pies. 

Prepare a nice shingle, or short, narrow plank. 
Lay it carefully down, on a bright, sunny bank. 

Take the freshest of dirt, and the cleanest of sand. 
And mix them up thoroughly well with your hand. 

Add a cupful of water, then stir with a stick, — 
(A little more water if it is too thick). 

Now take up a lump of this beautiful dough. 
About just enough for a mud pie, you know ; 

Roll it softly around, and give it a pat, 

Don't have it too humpy, and yet not too flat. 

Lay it down on the board to bake in the sun, 
Then make all the others just like this one. 

Now sprinkle white sand over each little cake. 
And leave them about fifteen minutes to bake. 

And when they are done, you'll certainly say, 

" That's the most fun Tve had for many a day ! " 



[ ' 1 



THE RUDE WAGON 

THIS wicked wagon likes to wait 
Each morning by the garden gate, 
And as the neighboring teams draw nigh. 
Sticks out his tongue at passers-by. 
And then he'll roll around and kick, 
Delighted at his silly trick. 
The wagon is a little dunce, 
And should be spoken to at once. 
Dearie, I've no idea that you 
Such a rude thing as that would do. 



[ ^ ] 



A MERRY MONARCH 

THIS is the King of Nonsense Land, 
He lives on shrimps and sugared sand ; 
And every morning he Hkes to drink 
A glass or two of indelible ink, 
Which is always brought in a muffin ring 
To the whimsical, flimsical Nonsense King. 

He dances jigs on a feather bed, 

He wears his slippers on top of his head ; 

At ten o'clock in the afternoon 

He digs a well with a silver spoon. 

And he will turn somersaults in the spring, 

This fanciful, danciful Nonsense King. 

He hides away on a cupboard shelf, 
Then all day long he hunts for himself. 
Or he sits for hours in the top of a tree, 
And wonders where in the world he can be. 
He's just as funny as anything, 
This affable, laughable Nonsense King. 



[ s] 



THE GORGEOUS GIRAFFE 

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AT a city hotel an enormous Giraffe 
Arrived from the East, 
And this curious beast 
Wore a long linen duster and carried a staff; 
His wit and his chaff 
Made every one laugh 
This epigrammatic, grammatic Giraffe. 

He took in the sights with exuberant glee, 

He gazed and he stared, 

And then he declared, 
" Ell spend a few days by the shore of the sea. 

'Tis delightful to me 

In the summer to be 
By the roaring, uproarious, roarious sea." 

But when on his way, he cried suddenly, " Stop ! 

My collars are soiled. 

Indeed they're quite spoiled, 
And though I am neither a dandy nor fop, 

I think I will pop 

Into this little shop. 
This neat, little habery-dashery shop." 

He spoke to the shopman somewhat on this wise : 

" Your stock I admire. 

And I think I require 
A dozen new collars and twelve pretty ties. 

[6] 



THE GORGEOUS GIRAFFE 

Not all of a size, 
For Fm sure I should prize 
Some rather diversified, versified ties." 



With the shopkeeper's aid he selected a lot 

Of collars that rolled 

Or bent in a fold, — 
Some low and some high ; and the ties that he got 

Were scarf, string and knot. 

With a stripe or a spot, 
A most satisfactory, factory lot. 

He carefully fastened them all round his neck; 

In the miiror he spied 

His reflection with pride. 
For Giraffes love most dearly their throats to bedeck. 

He cared not a speck 

For the size of his check 
If he clothed his remarkable, markable neck. 

Said the shopman, " Dear Sir, if I may be so bold, 

By the shore of the sea 

Where so soon you will be. 
The weather is frequently freezingly cold ; 

And many Fm told 

Down there you behold 
With their necks in these comforting comforters 
rolled." 

[7 J 



THE GORGEOUS GIRAFFE 

This suggestion delighted the worthy Giraffe ; 

Of the comforters brought 

A dozen he bought. 
He tied them all on. Then he picked up his staff, 

And Fm sure you will laugh 

At this queer photograph 
Of the aristocratic, tocratic Giraffe. 



[8 J 



AN IMPORTANT DISCOVERY 

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COLUMBUS Verrazzano Nanscn Living- 
stone De Rorer 
Was by all his friends considered a remark- 
able explorer ; 
He discovered a peninsula, a valley and a highland, 
And then his great ambition was to find a desert 

island. 
" How, Columbus Verrazzano," said the neighbors, 

" do you know, 
In your search for desert islands, just exactly where 

to go P " 
" I shall set out for Sahara," said De Rorer, with 

decision, 
*' Taking with me gui.des and maps and charts and 

plenty of provision. 
For of course a desert island in a desert must be 

found. 
And I'm sure the Great Sahara in such islands will 
abound." 



[y] 



THK BAD POTATO 

THIS young potato oft was told, 
By people who were wise and old, 
That it is very far from right 
To read without sufficient light. 
He heeded not their wise behest. 
But \vhen the sun sank in the west 
He strained his eyes by twilight dim. 
And goggles soon were put on him. 
Dearie, will you this lesson heed ? 
And after sundown do not read. 



[ lo] 





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A BIRTHDAY TRKA'F 

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A MM A allows us, every one, 

When birthdays come, you see, 
To choose our fav'rite kind of fun, 
Trot and the twins and me. 



Trotty is only two years old. 

The twins are four and four. 

Of course you don't need to he told 
That I'm a great deal more. 

This is my birthday, I am eight. 
And I said 'twould be fine 

To sit up awful 'stremely late — 
As late as half past nine ! 

" You'll all get sleepy," mother said. 

But I said, " No-sir-ee ! " 
You see, we hate to go to bed, 

Trot and the twins and me. 

Why, we could stay awake till dawn ' 
Couldn't we, Trotty .? What ! 

I do believe that was a yawn ! 

I say ! Oh, wake up. Trot ! 

There ! one twin's curled up in a heap 
Well, then, the other will. 

Oh, dear, I'm sure that IVot's asleep. 
She sits so very still ! 

[ '3 ] 



A BIRTHDAY TREAT 

1 wonder why my eves will wink. 
It I just close them once 

I'm not asleep ! You needn't think 
That I'd be such a dunce ! 

I'm wide awake, my wits are keen, 
And I can tell mamma — 

That both the Trottys — no — I mean— 
The twin — ah — um — 'm — ah — h- 



[ '4] 



A G R A 1 1 F I K D A M B IF I O N 

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THE Elephant seemed a trifle sad, a tear 
was in his eye ; 
1 looked at him with sympathy and begged 
he'd tell me why. 
*'Alas! Alas!" the elephant said, in a voice that 

shook with woe ; 
" I have a secret trouble, and it does distress me so ! 
I dare say I am foolish ; — but, oh ! it seems to me 
I'd be supremely happy could I onlv climb a tree." 

" My friend," I quickly answered, " I can help you 

out this time ; 
For 1 know where there is a tree that you can surely 

climb." 
The Elephant pranced around for joy, and said, 

" How kind you are ! 
Oh ! let us go to this tree at once ; — pray, is it very 

rar r 
" 'T is quite near by," I said ; and then we walked 

around the town 
xA.nd found a noble oak tree which some men had 

just cut down. 
And that delighted Elephant was glad as he could 

be ; — 
So I said good-by, and left him there a-climbing 

that old tree. 



[ '5] 



POMPEY'S CHRISTMAS 

IF aught of history you've been told, 
Of course you know 
That long ago 

There lived a warrior brave and 
bold, 
And Pompey was his name — 
" Pompey the Great" he was en- g^j;;;^^^^^^ — 
rolled 

Upon the lists of fame. 



So skillfully his darts he hurled 
He conquered nearly all the world. 
But this occurred, 
As you have heard, 
When Pompey was a man. 
And as I'm sure that you'd enjoy 
A tale of Pompey when a boy, 
I'll tell you all 1 can. 



Young Pompey had a pleasant home 
In the old, well-known town of Rome; 
I'he house was wondrous to behold, 
Adorned with ivory and gold ; 
The " atrium" and the " peristyle " 

(They're rooms you know. 

Of long ago) 
Were decked with marble, glass, and tile. 

Rich woven goods 

[ .6] - • 




POMPEY'S CHRISTMAS 

And precious woods, 
And statues in the aisle. 

When Pompev with his parents dined, 
Upon low couches they reclined. 
And thus in state 
Rare viands ate 

Of every sort and kind. 
For clothing Pompev round him draped 
A Roman garment queerly shaped — 

A " toga " of white wool. 

Exceeding long and full ; 
And on his feet the funny chap 
Wore sandals buckled with a strap. 

Now Pompey had his joys 
As well as modern hoys. 




POMPEY'S CHRISTMAS 

His nati\e town of Rome could boast 
Ot seven hills down which to coast; 

Or if he cared to see a show, 
To Circus Maxmius he'd go ; 

Then., he could read a scroll 
Or a papyrus roll ; i 

Or, if he'd wish, 
In Tiber fish ; 
And there were many Roman games — 
I have forgotten their queer names. 

But shall I tell you of the way 

Young Pompey spent one Christmas Day 
In merriment and cheer P 
And would you like to hear 
How this young lad 




POMPKY'S CHRISTMAS 

PI is presents had ? 
The tale is rather queer. 

Imagine Pompev's boyish head 
Pillowed upon his ivory bed, 

So sound asleep 

In slumber deep, 
He could not hear the tread 
Of Santa Claus, who stealthily 
Came, laden with a Christmas tree 

That I declare. 

Had you been there. 
You would have laughed to see. 

virgin 





POMPEY'S CHRISTMAS 

Of course in Italy's warm clime 
They cannot find at Christmas-time * 
A fir or spruce 
For Christmas use ; 
So Santa Claus, you see, 
Had brought a tall palm-tree; 

And when with gifts and toys arrayed, 
Quite a fair Christmas tree it made, 
Although 't was very high. Indeed, 
A tall step-ladder one would need 
To reach the toys and things. 
Even when hung by strings. 




POMPEY'S CHRISTMAS 

As vou have often heard before, 
No stockings Roman people wore ; 
And so, ere Pompey went to bed. 
He hung his sandals up instead. 

And Santa Claus 

Was at a loss ; 

For worse than stockings full of holes 
It is to fill a pair of soles. 
But he accomplished it some way, 
And then, as it was almost day, 

He slung his pack 

Across his back 
And drove off in his sleigh. 




[a. ] 



POMPEY'S CHRISTMAS 

And oh, when Christmas morning broke, 
And Pompey from his dreams awoke, 
Just try to picture his delight ! 
But no! why — wait I this isn't right ! 

How could I make 

Such a mistake ? 
The story is all wrong ! Oh, dear ! 
I'll have to stop the tale right here. 
You can t imagine Pompey 's joy. 
Because when Pompey was a boy 
Of Christmas presents he had none ; 
For Christmases had not begun 
When Pompey was a boy ! 




THE OUAGGA'S SECRET 

ON a mountain in a river, 
Far away and long ago, 
Sat a Quagga all a-quiver 
All a-shake and all a-shiver 

Filling reticules with snow. 
As he looked across the ocean 
He exclaimed " I have a notion 

Some one's coming in the gate ! 

Though it's only half-past eight, 

Some one's coming in the gate ! 
Some one rather large and bulky, 
Some one rather cross and sulky ; 
How absurd ! 
On my word 
'Tis the sycophantic sheep 
And he's walking in his sleep. 
Now Em almost sure he will 
Ask me why Em on this hill 
Filling reticules with snow ; 

But I will not tell him ! No, 

I will never tell him, No ! 
'Tis a secret dark and deep. 
Which I faithfully must keep. 
Though my nearest friends and neighbors 
Ask the reason of my labors, 
Nobody shall ever know 
fFky I fill these bags with snow." 

[^3 ] 



A aU KKR HOSPITAL 

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THERE'S a hospital down on Absurdity 
Square 
Where the queerest of patients are tended 
with care. 
When 1 made them a visit, I saw in a crib 
A Httle umbrella who'd broken his rib. 
And then I observed in the very next bed, 
A bright little pin who had bumped his poor head. 
They said a new cure they'd decided to try 
On an old needle totally blind in one eye. 
1 was much interested, and soon I espied 
A shoe who complained of a stitch in her side. 
And a sad-looking patient who seemed in the dumps 
Was a clock with a swelled face because of the 

mumps. 
Then 1 paused just a moment, a kind word to speak 
To a small cup of tea who was awfully weak. 
And I tried very hard, though I fear 'twas in vain. 
To comfort a window who had a bad pane. 
Then I took my departure, but met at the stair 
A new patient whom they were lifting with care, 
A victim perhaps from some terrible wreck, 
'Twas a squash, who had fatally broken his neck. 



[^-4] 



A CALL ON A BALI. 

A KITTEN, a Kite and a Kangaroo, 
With a whoop and a howl and a hullaballoo 
One day in the Fall 
Went out to call 
On a very small 
Pink Pop-Corn Ball ; 
And they stayed an hour or two. 

The Pop-Corn Ball was awfully shy, 

She wished they had waited till next July ; 

But she gave them a box 

Of woolen socks, 

Some eight-day clocks. 

And building blocks. 
And then they said " Good-4)y !" 

Then the Kitten, the Kite and the Kangaroo 
Away they hopped and ran and flew ; 

And along the road 

They met a toad 

To whom they showed 

Their wonderful load, 
With a whoop-de-doodle-do ! 



C^-5 ] 



THK UNKEMPT TRUNK 

THIS trunk does angrily declare 
He will not let them brush his hair. 
And though his good nurse often tries 
To brush it, he just screams and cries, 
And bumps around upon the floor, 
And tumbles up against the door. 
And then perhaps he'll run outside, 
Or in the darksome attic hide. 
But, dearie, I am glad to see 
You have your hair brushed properly. 



[26] 



ALPHABET OF INANIMATES 



A 



WAS an Andiron 
So tidy and bright 

Who kept up the fire 
By day and by night. 

Amiable Andiron 



B was a Bureau 

Who never would stop 
Rolling its marble 

And spinning its top 

Beautiful Bureau 

C was a Chair 

Who said " I declare 
My legs are quite spry, 

I can walk if I ti-y." 

Clever old Chair ! 

D was a Door 

Who said proudly, " I am 
So often a-jar 

Because of my jamb." 

Dutiful Door ! 

E was a Ewer 

Who said in despair 
" Tm not made of china 

I am a ware." 

Envious Ewer ! 

[ 29 ] 



ALPHABET OF INANIMATES 

F was a Furnace 

Who nearly went daft 
When they asked him to draw 

A check and a draft. 

Funny old Furnace ! 

G was a Gridiron 

Who never told fibs. 
But how he would laugh 

If you tickled his ribs. 

Giggling Gridiron ! 

H was a H attack 

Who said " Will you note 
To-day I have on 

A new hat and coat." 

Haughty old H attack ! 

I was an Iron 

Who fell on a cat, 
And afterward said 

He felt awfully flat. 

Imbecile Iron ! 

J was a Jewsharp 

Whom nobody owned, 
Though he often remarked 

He was very high-toned. 

Jovial Jewsharp ! 

[30] 



ALPHABET OK INANIMATES 

K was a Key 

Who tried not to see 
Ihrough the keyhole. 'Twas rude, 

He said, to intrude. 

Kindhearted Key ! 

L was a Ladder 

Who was such a dunce 
Whatever he did, 

They saw through him at once. 
Laughable Ladder ! 

M was a Mirror 

Who said, " I expect 
The time has now come 

When I must reflect. ** 

Moody old Mirror. 



N was a Nail 

Who plaintively said, 
I wish Ed a place 
To pillow my head." 

Nice httle Nail ! 



(( 



O was an Organ 

All gilded in stripes. 
Who would blow soap-bubbles 

With one of his pipes. 

Obstinate Organ ! 

[31 ] 



ALPHABET OF INANIMATES 

P was a Pillow, 

Pretty and fair ; 
And everyone praised 

His nicely curled hair. 

Popular Pillow ! 

Q was a Quilt 

Made of bits of old frocks ; 
And all the day long 

He played with his blocks. 
Queer little Quilt ! 

R was a Range 

Who said " It is strange,— 
My chimney flue, 

Why can't I fly too ? 

Ridiculous Range ! 

S was a Stovepipe 

Who cried out " Oh, dear ! 
I've just bumped my elbow, 

'Tis broken, I fear." 

Sorrowful Stovepipe ! 

T was a Tub 

Who sat on the stoop, 
Or ran on the sidewalk 

To trundle his hoop. 

Tractable Tub ! 

[3^1 



ALPHABET OF INANIMATES 

U an Umbrella 

Who murmured one day, 
" When 1 am shut up 

I have nothing to say." 

Useful Umbrella ! 



V was a Vase 

Who said to himself, 
" I must be quite old, 

I am placed on the shelf." 
Valuable Vase ! 

W was a Wheel, 

Who when they inquired 
Why he did not go on. 

Replied he was tired. 

Weary old Wheel. 

X was a Xebec, 

A very fine boat. 
Who said, " 1 can't swim, 

But 1 think I can float." 

Excellent Xebec ! 

Y was a Yardstick 

Who said " I've three feet 
So I think I will take 

A walk down the street." 

Yellowish Yardstick ! 



[33 ] 



ALPHABET OF INANIMATES 

Z was a Zither 

Who hadn't a tongue, 
But he said that he felt 

Completely unstrung. 

Zealous old Zither ! 



IN CHINA 

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WHAT is amusing these Chinamen so ? 
What is that queer thing a-wheel ? 
There's only one Cochin China you know, 
And only one automobile. 



[34] 



A HERO 

NAPOLEON Wellington Dewey Malone 
Was the bravest young hero that ever was 
known : 
He vowed and declared he would not be afraid 
In a battle, a skirmish, a siege or a raid. 
He repeatedly stated he thought 'twould be fun 
To face howitzer, cannon, sword, pistol or gun ; 
He wished all his friends and his neighbors to know 
That bravely and calmly he'd meet any foe. 
Now Napoleon Wellington, fearing no harm, 
Went to visit his uncle who lived on a farm ; 
And out in the barnyard he had such a shock 
There came rushing toward him a great Turkey-cock! 
With wide flapping wings and tail spread like a fan, — 
Napoleon Dewey just turned round and ran ! 



[35 J 



THE CARELESS BOTTLE 



A 



collar and a tie should deck 
This pretty bottle's slender neck. 
But though his mother kindly buys 
The most expensive silken ties, 
And lovely collars edged with lace, 
He will not have them pinned in place, 
But crossly screams, " No, no, not I 
Will wear a collar or a tie ! " 
Dearie, I hope you'll think it best 
Always to be correctly dressedc 



[36] 



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THK THREE SILLY SAILORS 

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THREE Silly Old Sailors went out for 
sport ; 
Went out for sport one day ; 
They bundled into a smallish boat, 
On a briny wave they were soon afloat, 

And they fished in Baffling Bay, 
But not for fish of a common sort, 
" Oh, no," said they, " we'll have rarer sport." 
So they fished and fished for mermaids fair, 
With shiny green tails and golden hair ; 

Each baited his line 

With a trinket fine 
That made the mermaids stare. 
" Tra la la, tra la le," 

Sang the mermaids gay. 
And the Silly Old Sailors laughed with glee 

As they fished in Baffling Bay 

They presently said, " We'll go ashore," 

" We'll go ashore," they said ; 
And one of them said to the others, " Look, 
In that grassy meadow there runs a brook. 

And a notion is in my head." 
• Then down in the grass by the fence they hid, 
Holding fast to a rope that held the lid 
Of a trap which they fixed with wires and 

strings 
To catch the brook that babbles and sings ; 

[39] 



THE THREE SI ELY SAILORS 

They lay for hours 

Among the flowers, 
They were such silly things ! 
" Ha ha ha, ho ho ho," 

Laughed the little brook. 
And the Silly Old Sailors chuckled low. 

As they lay in their grassy nook. 

Then the Silly Old Sailors strayed afield. 

They strayed till half-past nine ; 
Said one, " Let's go to Tinkham Town 
And see what game we may bring down. 

They say cloud-shooting is fine." 
"Aha," said one, "some clouds I spy, 
Floating along in the Summer sky, 
I think, my friends, we can seal their fate ! " 
So they raised their guns and aimed them straight. 

But whether they shot 

A cloud or not 
They missed about six or eight. 
" Hoot-te-toot, hoot-te-toot," 

Cried the Tinkham men. 
But the Silly Old Sailors loved to shoot, 
So they loaded their guns again. 



[40] 



THAT CHERRY-TREE 

YOU'VE heard o'er and o'er 
Descriptions galore 
Of General Washington's glory ; 
But I'll tell you, forsooth, 

A tale of his youth, 
A hitherto unwritten story. 

When George was a boy. 

It was his great joy 
To save up the pennies he got 

In order to buy 

On Fourth of July 
Some firecrackers, powder and shot. 

Now of course, as you know, 

This was long, long ago. 
But we were a lusty young nation ; 

And the Fourth of July 

Wasn't let to go by 
Without a good big celebration. 

One day, we are told. 

When about eight years old, 
George hadn't a cent in his pocket ; 

The holiday came. 

And to his great shame 
He couldn't buy pinwheel or rocket. 

[41 ] 



THAT CHERRY-TREE 

But suddenly he 

Bethought, with a tree 
A fire he could make and be merrv : 

He soon chopped one down, 

'Twas the pride of the town. 
His kind father's favorite cherry ! 

A bonfire he made 

To greet the parade 
On the night of the Fourth of July ; 

When his father said, " Son ! 

Oh, what have you done P " 
George said, " I can;/^/ tell a lie. 

" I chopped down your tree. 
Because, — daddy, you see. 

No fireworks at all could I get." 
His kind father smiled. 
And said, " My dear child, 

I think you'll be President yet ! " 

Now this tale may be true. 

But between me and you, 
They didn't keep Fourth of July 

When George was a youth. 

If he vouched for its truth 
I fear he was telling^ a lie. 



[42 ] 



SIR MARMADUKK MARS 



SIR Marmaduke Mars was audacious, 
A brave grenadier, 
A fierce fusileer ; 
A warrior bold and pugnacious 
A mettlesome, mad 
musketeer. 

His friends and admirers 
who knew him 

Told tales of his 

luck, 
His valor and 
pluck; — 
How he chased a wild 
tiger and slew him. 
And killed a bel- 
ligerent buck. 

He had fought with lieutenants and lieges. 
And Sir Marmaduke Mars 
Of the Haughty Hussars, 
In consequence of these sharp sieges 

Was just about covered with scars. 

Now for years Marmaduke had 
been quiet. 

The fray lost its 

charms. 
He laid down 
his arms — 





SIR MARMADUKE MARS 



He had given up combat and riot, 

And calmly looked after his farms. 

But one day as he sat in his study, 
He said to his wife : 
" I tire of home life, 
I long for an escapade bloody. 

With danger and jeopardy rife." 

Now nought this good woman could ruffle ; 
She said, " My adored, 
I fear you are bored ; 
Go out, dear, and hunt up a scuffle, 

ril fetch you your helmet and sword." 

She brought him his shield and his truncheon, 

His foes to defy ; 

Then she bade him good-by. 
And gave him a nice little luncheon 
Of sandwiches, pickles and pie. 

Sir Marmaduke 

sallied forth 

bravely. 
And marched 

for a mile. 
When a huge 

crocodile 
Stepped up and 

saluted h i m 

gravely, 
(Though 1 

think ^^ 

that he stifled 

a smile.) 




SIR M A R M A D U K K MARS 



Said the crocodile, sadly, " A lion 

Lies there in the shade 

Of that tropical glade, 
I very much fear he's a dyin', 

I beg and implore you for aid." 

Sir Marmaduke grew quite excited, 

And fearlessly brave ; 

He said, " Show me his cave. 
Whatever is wrong shall be righted ! 
The life of that beast I will save." 

The crocodile, noisily weeping. 
Concealed his delight. 
And conducted the knight 

To the den where the lion lay sleeping, 
A truly deplorable sight. 

" You nee. Sir, my friend's situation. 
So appallingly thin, 
He's just bone and skin ; 

He's dying, dear Sir, of 

starvation. 
And that's why we sum- 
moned you in. 

1 fear that the prospect 
dismays you," 
^^ The crocodile said, 
" But your fame will 
be spread. 




SIR MARMADUKE MARS 

Your friends (if they hear it !) will praise you 
For having a hungry lion fed." 

Sir Marmaduke's lower lip quivered, 

Though hot-headed and bold ; 
He felt suddenly cold — 
He shuddered, he shook and he shivered. 
Apprehensive of horrors untold. 

Sir Marmaduke looked rather sickly, 

But being a man 

Accustomed to plan, 
And accustomed to doing it quickly. 
He opened his mouth and began : 

" My friends, I appreciate duly 

And commiserate 

Your very sad fate. 
And I think it was fortunate truly 

That I happened along ere too late. 

" I'm flattered to think you should choose me. 
If on me it depends 
To further your ends — 
But if you will kindly excuse me, 
I'll go and call in a few friends. 

" The occasion seems really to ask it. 
Although I must say 
I regret the delay ; 
And, oh, by the way — here's a basket 

Which I'll leave in your charge if I may." 

[46 ] 



SIR MARMADUKE MARS 

The crocodile jumped for the hamper, 
The Hon turned his eye 
Toward the pickles and pie ; 

Our hero set off on a scamper 

And flew over the ground pretty spry. 

When the crocodile presently finished, 
(He'd eaten the best 
And the lion had the rest). 

With appetites scarcely diminished 

Fhey sat down to wait for their guest. 

They patiently sat there and waited, 
They waited until 
The evening grew chill, 

And as nothing contrary's narrated. 

They're probably sitting there still. 




[47 ] 



WHEN SANTA CLAUS WAS ILL 

OLD Father Time, on Christmas Eve, 
Said anxiously : " I do beHeve 
That Father Christmas will be late. 
He ought to start ; it's half-past eight. 
At midnight he is due on earth ; 
He'll have to rush for all he's worth. 
It is a shame, upon my word ! — " 
Just then the telephone was heard. 
" Hello," said Time ; "hello ; who's this ? " 
" A messenger from Father Kriss. 
He has a bad attack of gout 
And won't be able to go out. 
And so he hopes you can supply 
A substitute for him. Good-by.'* 
" Alas," said Father Time, " alas ! 
I've feared that. this would come to pass, 
For Father Christmas has grown old, 
And cannot stand the frost and cold. 
But to the waiting human race 
I must send someone in his place. 
I'd go myself, but 'tis just now 
My busiest day ; I don't see how 
I can be spared. 'Tis almost nine — " 
Ting-ling ! " Hello, St. Valentine ! " 
"Who's this?" "I'm Time." "Hello!" "Hello 
Christmas is ill. Say, can't you go 
And take his place on earth to-night P 
You're just about his size and height. 

[48 ] 



WHEN SANTA CLAUS WAS ILL 

The difference none would ever know. 

Come, hurry up, old chap, and go." 

"I can't," St. Valentine replied; 

"IVe got a cold, and then, beside, 

I'm very busy writing lines 

And making up my valentines. 

I'm sorry, Father Time, but I 

Can't go. Get someone else. Good-by." 

Then Father Time was very vexed. 

Fourth of July he called up next. 

But that young urchin laughed in glee, 

And said: "No Christmases for me !. 

Too well my face each youngster knows ; 

Besides, I have no Winter clothes." 

"I'll go," the little New Year said. 

Time patted the small curly head. 

And kindly said: "No, boy, not so, 

But next week, Monday, you may go/' 

Just then the April Fool came by, 

With mischief in his twinkling eye. 

He heard the trouble, and said he: 

"Why, Father Time, Fll go; send me. 

I've nothing in the world to do. 

And I'd be glad to favor you." 

"Fool !" said Old Time, "they know you well 

They'd take offense at such a sell." 

"Why, not at all," said April Fool; 

"I know the customs of old Yule. 

I'll wear a long white beard and wig, 

[49 ] 



WHEN SANTA CLAUS WAS ILL 

And make myself look old and big. 
Indeed, 'twill be a jolly lark! 
Now ril set out before it's dark, 
And do the best I can for you/' 
As there was nothing else to do 
Time was obliged to give consent. 
And to the April Fool he lent 
Old Father Christmas' robe and cap. 
Arrayed in these, the merry chap 
Was sure he'd fool the wisest folk. 
And went off chuckling at the joke. 
He reached the earth just at the time 
The bells rang out their midnight chime, 
And through the whole of Christmas Day 
That tricky April Fool held sway. 
And he did all that he could plan 
To tease the heart of mortal man. 
Instead of snow and frost and storm 
The weather was quite mild and warm ; 
The fields were gay with budding flowers ; 
The clouds gave hints of April showers; 
Instead of Christmas songs, all day 
They heard the street hand-organs play. 
And children who had hoped to see 
A spruce or hemlock Christmas tree 
Discovered in the best front room 
A peach or cherry tree in bloom. 
Even the candies were no good — 
Just cotton-wool, or bits of wood. 

[ 50 ] 



WHEN SANTA CLAUS WAS ILL 

And, somehow, no one thought it droll 
To find salt in the sugar-bowl. 
But mischief-loving April Fool 
Laughed at the topsy-turvy Yule. 
He mixed up all the children's toys. 
Gave drums to girls and dolls to boys; 
He brought the ladies pipes and canes. 
And to the men, fans and gold chains; 
Gave specs to babies in long frocks. 
And to their grandpas, building-blocks. 
Until each woman, man and child 
With indignation went quite wild. 
But never did they know or guess 
Why Christmas wasn't a success. 



L 51 ] 



THi: STONY-HEARTED GRIFFIN 

J^^ J^^ ^^ ^^. J^- ^-{, JL^ ^-^ ^^, 4^ J j, ^»^ ^^- .}^. ^ J- .J^^ .j {. J [- J ]- J.^- J^^ 



o 



NCE there was an awful dragon 
And he bought a painted wagon 

And he went careering wildly down the 
road; 
When he saw a haughty griffin 
Superciliously sniffin', 

'Cause the dragon hadn't paid him what 
he owed. 

Then that grim and awful dragon 
Took a mediaeval flagon, 

Which he offered to the griffin as a gift. 
The angry one received it ; 
But, would you have believed it ? 

Instead of saying "Thanks!" he sat and sniffed. 

Said the dragon, " It is hateful 
To see people so ungrateful ;" 

But the griffin never smiled, and I dare say. 
Like a half-demented creature. 
Full of scorn in every feature. 

That griffin is a-sniffin' to this day* 



[ 5^ ] 



A VICTIM TO ADVICE 



A 



WISE old man was Ebenezer Barr, 
Who always tried to do as he was bid ; 

They said, " Go, hitch your wagon to a 
star" — 
And Ebenezer did. 



But oh ! what trials he had to endure 

When that cantankerous star he tried to drive! 

It would have been a marvel, I am sure, 
Had he come out alive. 

For of the science of astronomy 

So ignorant was Ebenezer Barr, 
He made an awful blunder, and, you see. 

He chose a shooting star. 

And though he sat up firmly in his place, 

Determined he would conquer his wild steed, 

That star went plunging madly into space 
At more than lightning speed. 

Of course the poor old fellow was thrown out; — 
H is was a fearful fate ; and they do say 

That Ebenezer was, without a doubt. 
Drowned in the milky way. 



[ 53 ] 



THE VAIN LADY-FINGERS 

THESE Lady-Fingers, silly things, 
Bedeck themselves with gaudy rings , 
They see the mock-gems flash and shine, 
And murmur proudly, " Oh, how fine ! " 
They do not know 'tis better taste 
To wear no jewels than gems of paste. 
Indeed, clean hands are better far 
Than any tawdry jewels are^ 
Dearie, I'm sure you do not care 
These imitation- gems to wear 



[ 54 1 



THE THRKE WISE BOYS 

-K-f 4- -{-M- -^+ -K4- 'KH- 4H- -M- •]— f -5H--}--i- -M- -K-{- -M- -h-f -K+ -K+ 'K-f + H- +-f -h-i- 



THERE were three wise men of Gotham of old 
Who went to sea in a bowl, we're told ; 
And nobody knows what became of the men, 
Not one of them ever was heard of again. 

But three wise little boys did better than that. 
They went to sea in an old straw hat ; 
And of course they knew they couldn't drown. 
For they sat on the brim with their feet in the crown. 

The wind was as strong as a roaring bear. 
And blew their boat 'most everywhere ; 
And the boys were having a splendid sail 
Till they chanced to meet a passing whale. 

Now this whale was awfully old and fat, 
And he thought he'd like to wear a hat ; 
So he quickly dumped the sailors out. 
Then put on the hat and swam about. 



[ 57 ] 



A MARVELOUS MENAGERIE 

■!--J- -! — h -1 — !- -1- + T — h-T-H' -! — h -i — !- -! — £• -K+ -i — i- -! — J- -! — i- -I — i* -^ — h -i — i- -! — i- -i — I- -J — 1- -a — I- -1 — !• 

A WAS an affluent Ape 
Who bought a magnificent cape ; 
'Twas ruffled and frilled, 
And plaited and quilled, 
And trimmed round about with blue tape. 

B was a burly Baboon 

Who always ate breakfast at noon ; 

He called for two kegs 

Of soft scrambled eggs, 
And ate them all up with a spoon. 

C was a clever old Codfish, 

Who was an exceedingly odd fish ; 

He hadn't a shoe. 

But he knew what to do. 
He went to a place where they shod fish. 

D was a dignified Deer, 

Who wore a large ring in each ear, 

A wide, flowing tie. 

And a glass in his eye. 
And he did look most awfully queer 

E was an elegant Eagle, 

Who wore a fur robe which was regal ; 

He once practiced law. 

But he had to Vv'ithdraw, 
For they said that his mind wasn't legal. 

[ 58 ] 



A MARVELOUS M E N A G P, R I E 

F was a funny old Fox, 

Who purchased a pair of blue socks ; 

He said, " 1 won't wear them, 

I fear 1 will tear them." 
So he put them away in a box. 

G was a gay Guinea pig, 
Who wore a ridiculous rig ; 

It was nothing at all 

But a black and white shawl 
And a powdered Colonial wig. 

H was a heartbroken Hare 

Who purchased a large Bartlett pear ; 

When her friends said, " It will 

Make you awfully ill." 
She sat down and howled in despair. 

I was an Ibex, who said 

" I fear I am wrong in my head ; 

For I gave my left shoe 

To an old Kangaroo 
And I'm wearing a mitten inste;id." 

J was a jolly old Jay, 

Who went to a gay matinee ; 

He wore a new hat 

And a speckled cravat, 
And carried a gorgeous bouquet. 

[ 59 ] 



A MARVEL ( ) US MENAGERIE 

K was a Kilkenny Kite, 

Who wanted to learn how to write ; 

But all through the day 

He wanted to play, 
So he went to a night-school at night. 

L was a lively old Lynx, 

Who set out to visit the Sphinx; 

He took her some clams. 

Some jellies and jams, 
And a large bunch of carnation pinks. 

M was a moody old Moose, 

Who tied all his shoestrings too loose; 

Said his neighbors polite, 

" We'll tie them up tight," 
But he only replied, " What's the use r" '' 

N was a nice Nightingale, 

Who went in his yacht for a sail ; 

He said, " Em so hoarse. 

Or Ed stay home, of course, 
And practice my chromatic scale.' 

O was an overfed Owl, 

Who wore a brown cassock and cowl ; 

When they said, " Do you wish 

To taste of this dish ? " 
He only replied by a growl. 

[60] 



A M A R V P: L O U S M } : N A G E R 1 E 

P was a proud j-^orcupine, 

Who lived upon waffles and wine; 
With a stiff, haughty stalk 
He went for a walk, 

And came back about quarter to nine. 

Q was a queer looking Qiiail, 
Who wore a complete coat of mail , 

Though shining and bright 

It impeded his flight, 
So he sat all day long on a rail. 

R was a roguish Raccoon 

Who purchased a great big balloon , 

And one summer day 

He trimmed it up gay 
With manv a floral festoon 

S was a stupid old Sparrow, 

Who built him a nest on an arrow , 

It wobbled about 

Till the Sparrow found out 
Its foundation was really too narrow. 

T was a tragical Turkey, 

Whose manner of walking was jerky ; 

He went on the stage, 

But he left in a rage 
When told that his fice was too smirky. 

[ 6, 1 



A MARVELOUS MENAGERIE 

U was an Umbrella-bird, 

A very queer creature, I've heard; 

When they asked him to speak, 

He tied up his beak, 
And has never since uttered a word. 

V was a vain Vampire-Bat, 

Who was proud of his new summer hat ; 

'Twas exceedingly gay, 

Trimmed with heatlier and hay. 
And the brim was auite broad and quite flat. 

W was a wan Weasel, 

Who sat all day long at his easel ; 

When they said, " There's a spot 

On your face, is there not P " 
He answered, " I think it's a measle." 

X was an old Xenunne, 

The queerest that ever was seen ; 

He hadn't a thimble. 

But being quite nimble. 
He sewed on the sewing machine. 

Y was a young looking Yak, 
Who went for a ride in a hack ; 

He rode night and day 
Till he quite lost his way, 
So, of course, he could never come back, 

[ 62 ] 



A MARVELOUS MENAGERIF 

Z was a Zebra, who said, 
"My heart is as heavy as lead ; 

For the people all stare 

At the costume I wear, 
And really, 1 wish I were dead ! " 



THE GOAT 

-I — 4- +-+ 4~H- -}— r *i — r -}**r -! — F -f-"4--5*H* *J~-H* +H' -}*H'4"r -FH- -}-*f 4~n- -f-H" -I~n- -f-T- • 



THERE once was a good natured Goat ;- 
When an oyster-shell stuck in his throat. 
He just shook his head 
And thoughtfully said 
His digestion perhaps 'twould promote. 



r 6,i ] 



THK SILLY PENCILS 

•{- 4H- -M- -i—i' -i—i' -h-r- -J"i- -}"i- -M- -T—i- -IH- -M- -^^- -J— 5- -f—J- -M- -}H- -M- -M- 



THESE pencils are a reckless pair — 
Their rubbers they refuse to wear. 
And when they said, one summer day, 
They wanted to go out to play, 
Nurse said, " The sky is not quite clear ; 
Put on your rubbers. Do you hear ? " 
They did not do as they were told, 
And so, of course, they both took cold. 
Dearie, 1 hope you'll not forget 
To wear your rubbers when it's wet. 



[ 64 ] 





IVjerNeNveH-l^OO- 



A Q^UKKR VOYAGI': 

i^.j — [-.J — j..j>^.},^.; — [.-3 — i-j — ;..( — j..;.-^.; — j. -i — [-.; — j-.; — '.j — ;..; — j..j j. .; — j,.( — [,j — .;..j.. 

AN ingenious man named Abiram Barr 
Declared he could sail in an old street-car 
So he took his street-car down to the sea, 
For a very determined man was he. 
When everybody was sound asleep, 
He steered right straight for the rolling deep. 

But the funniest part is yet to tell. 
That street-car sailed extremely well ! 
For you see the clever old man was able 
To fasten it to the Atlantic cable. 
So that's the way Abiram Barr 
Crossed the sea in a cable-car. 



L 67 ^ 



A F R I J : N D I N N K R I) 

-M- -M- -M- -K-f-I—f -{H- -:-r 4— i- ^-f -}--f 4-4- -Hf -K-f -}-i- -M- iH- -r ^- -h-f 4— f -M- -r-i- 

DOWN in the depths of a jungle glade, 
There lived a lion quite old and staid, 
A nice old fellow. 
His mane was yellow. 
His roar was gentle, his voice was mellow, 
He roamed about in the shade. 



One day as he was trotting around, 

Upon the ground 

He suddenly found 
A pocket mirror ! He gave a bound. 
He was very much pleased and he roared with glee. 
For a regular dandy lion was he ; 
And he'd often wished it might come to pass 
That he could possess a looking-glass. 



He took it home to his jungle den. 
And he scanned his reflection again and again ; 
But he soon observed, to his great dismay, 
His mane was snarled in a terrible way. 
Now the lion had more than his share of pride, 
And he felt exceedingly mortified. 

He was very vain 

Of his handsome mane, 
And its tousled condition he saw with pain. 

[ 68 ] 



A FRIEND IN NEED 

His friends to untwist the tangles tried, 

But they pulled so hard that he almost cried. 

At last he exclaimed, " Well, upon my word ! 

'Tis the strangest thing I ever heard. 

That none can untangle, untwist or untwine, 

This snarled and matted mane of mine. 

What is the use of being a king, 

If my subjects can't do such a simple thing P " 



Then he sent for the crier and had it cried 
Through the length and breadth of the mountainside: 
"Oh, ho ! oh, ho ! Who knows a way 
To untangle the lion's mane, I say P 

A prize is offered, a bountiful feast. 

To any kind of a bu'd or beast. 

Bison or buffalo, stork or crane. 

Who can untangle the lion's mane ' " 



When the proclamation was cried aloud. 
Of course it drew a terrible crowd. 
But none of the beasts, not even a lynx. 
Not one of the ferrets or weasels or minks, 
Was clever enough to unravel the kinks. 
From the smallest snail to the biggest bear 

They all stood there 

With dejected air. 
And gave the problem up in despair. 

[69 ] 



A FRIEND IN NEED 

At last two belated guests appeared 

At the lion's den. The populace cheered, 

And in the midst of a deafening din 

A fox and a rooster were ushered in. 

The impetuous fox bounded up with a rush, 

And said, " Pray permit me to offer my brush ! " 

While the rooster, who'd run all the way from his 

home. 
Said, " Kindly allow me to lend you my comb ! " 
Hurrah ! hurrah ! the deed is done, 
The tangles straightened one by one. 
And the lion's cheeks glowed with a happy flush 
As he thanked his friends for their comb and brush. 



[ 70 1 



THE FISH'S WISH 

4-4- 4--f -h-f 4- 4- +-r -KH- -M- -K -f -h-f + -f -r-f -K-f -f-f -[--f -}*-{• 4- H- 4--i- -M- 4— f -h- {- 4H- 

LIVING alone in a catamaran 
Was a fish who wanted a feather fan ; 
As afar he sailed, 
He wept and wailed, 
For he was a sad and dolorous fish. 
And no one would gratify his wish. 

At last, as any one might expect. 
His crazy old catamaran was wrecked 

On a pebbly beach, 

Where he found a peach, 
A cross-eyed cow and a map of Japan, 
But not a sign of a feather fan. 

With a handkerchief of excessive size 
He wearily wiped his weeping eyes ; 

And he said to the cow : 

" Could you tell me how, 
Or when, or where, or why I can 
Provide myself with a feather fan ? " 

" Why, yes," said the cow, " I expect a crate 
Of feather fans by the noonday freight, 

And I shall rejoice 

If you'll make a choice. 
For the colors and sizes greatly vary," — 
*' Oh, thanks ! " said her benefishiary. 



[ 71 ] 



THE ANIMALS' FAIR 

IONG, long ago, and as far away as Norroway, 
The beasties clubbed together and they held 
-^ a big bazaar ; 
Not an animal was slighted, every single one invited, 
And they all appeared delighted as they came from 
near and far. 

The Bear brushed his hair and dressed himself with 

care, 
With the Lynx and two Minks he started to the fair. 
The Tapir cut a caper as he read his morning paper 
And learned about the great bazaar and all the 

wonders there. 

The chattering Chinchilla, trotted in with the Gorilla 
Much elated, so they stated, by the prospects of the 

fun ; 
While the Yak dressed in black, came riding in a 

hack, 
And the Buffalo would scuffle-oh, because he couldn't 

run. 

The Donkey told the Monkey that he had forgot 

his trunk-key, 
So an Ox took the box and put it in the way 
Of a passing Hippopotamus — who angrily said — 

" What a muss ! " 
As he trod upon the baggage and observed the 

disarray. 

[72 ] 



THE ANIMALS' FAIR 

A graceful little Antelope bought a delicious Can- 
taloupe, 

And at table with a Sable sat primly down to eat ; 

While a frisky young Hyena coyly gave a philopena 

To an Ibex who made shy becks at her from across 
the street. 

A delightful Dromedary danced in gaily from a 

dairy, 
The Gazelle murmured, " Well, I will buy some 

cream of you ; " 
But just then a great camelopard came lip and 

shouted — " Hello Pard 
Which was his way of greeting a newly entered Gnu. 

The B.son was a pricin' a tea-chest of young Hyson, 
So cheap said the Sheep that it nearly made her 

weep •, 
The lazy Armadillo bought a satin sofa pillow, 
Then found a cozy, dozy place and laid him down 

to sleep. 

An inhuman old Ichneumon sang a serenade by 
Schumann, 

The Giraffe gave a laugh and began to cheer and 
chaff; 

An appreciative Jaguar, said, " Goodness, what a 
wag you are ! " 

And the Camel got his Camera and took a photo- 
graph. 

[73] 



THE ANI M ALS' FAIR 

The Baboon and the Loon and the rolHcking 

Raccoon 
Fed an Otter with a blotter though it wasn't good 

to eat ; 
The Bunny thought 'twas funny, all his money 

went for honey, 
But a Rabbit has a habit of liking what is sweet. 

The Ape left her cape out on the fire-escape, 

The Jerboa lost her boa which caused her much 

distress ; 
But the fair was well attended and the money well 

expended 
And financially and socially it was a great success. 



[74 ] 



A CONCATENATION 

-Hf ^H- ^~{- -j--f + H- + -:- + -f 4- ^- -}- -f -M- -}- ^- -h H- -K -f 4--f 4- -J- -K -:- - J- -•:- -J- -f -!- ^- -1- -^- + -•:- 



A 



N Angora Cat sat quietly in his home 
Combing his long hair with a catacomb. 



Then lest he should suffer from dampness or 
fog 
He threw on his fire another catalog. 

Next he took a catsup from his pewter ladle, 
Then shook up his caterpillar in his cat's-cradle. 

He tied 'neath his chin his ruffled night-cap 
And curled himself up for a happy catnap. 



THE FUNNY BUNNY 

t I A H E R E was a little rabbit 
Who had a foolish habit 



1 



Of standing on his head to speak a piece, 
Till his teacher said, " Now, Bunny, 
Such conduct isn't funny, 

And, really, these performances must cease ! '' 



[ 75 J 



THE HEEDLESS RAKE 

BEHOLD this sorry garden rake, 
His teeth have all begun to ache. 
They ache so hard it makes him cry, 
And would you know the reason why ? 
Because the rake will not be good 
And brush them each day as he should. 
And what else, pray, can he expect 
If he his duty will neglect ? 
But, Dearie, you're as good as gold. 
And brush your teeth when you are told. 



[76] 



IN IH K K n CH KN 

-] — !- -f-^- -i — !" -i — I'-'i — !" "5 — i* H — [" "T — !- -}-- 4" -! — i- -i — !- -! — i* -r ^- -! — !- -r ~- -i — !- -r H- -r -i- -J- A- -r ~r -r -!- 

TKN little cookies brown, crisp and fine, 
Grandma gave l^olly one, then there were 
nine. 
Nine little cookies on a china plate, 
Polly took another one, then there were eight. 
Kight little cookies, made with flour and leaven, 
The butcher-boy tried one, then there were seven. 
Seven little cookies much liked by chicks, 
The old hen stole one, then there were six. 
Six little cookies to make children thrive, 
Polly helped herself again, then there were five. 
Five little cookies too near the door, 
I'he dog came and gobbled one, then there were 

four. 
Four little cookies as cute as could be, 
Grandma took one herself, then there were three. 
Three little cookies. Grandpa said, " Pooh ! " 
But he ate one just the same, then there were two. 
Two little cookies, and it was such fun 
That Polly ate another, then there was one. 
One little cooky, rather overdone, 
Bridget threw that away, then there was none. 



[ 79] 



THE P I G G n^ ^ - W 1 G 

APIGGITY-WIG 
Had a golden gig 
I'o ride from here to there ; 
He went back and forth 
From South to North, 
He traveled everywhere. 

But the more he rode 
The more it snowed, 

Till he said : " I think it's best 
To change my course," 
So he turned his horse, 

And rode from East to West, 



I «o ] 



THE THREE WISH E S 

T-n-M- -M--M- ^—r -M- -h-f -M- -J- ^- -M- -M- -h -f -}--{- -fH- -1-4- -J--i- + -f -K ++ -f • 

A KITTEN, a Fish and a Butterfly 
On a rocky beach sat high and dry. 
And the Kitten said, "It seems to me 
It must be dehghtful to swim in the sea." 
" I am sure," said the Fish, " it can't compare 
With the glory of flying about in the air." 
" Oh, the air is no fun," the Butterfly said, 
" I'd much rather hve on the earth instead , 
I get so tired of trackless space, — 
Could I walk or run from place to place 
And burrow holes in the ground, then I 
Would be just the happiest Butterfly." 
" I wish," said the Kitten, "you had my home. 
And I'd go and live in the ocean's foam. 
I'd float on the crest of a rolling wave 
Or dive to the depths of a coral cave. 
Oh, if I only could live in the sea. 
What a fortunate satisfied Kitten I'd be ! " 
" And I," said the Fish, " would like to soar 
To the height of a hundred feet or more ; 
I'd perch aloft on the telegraph wires, 
Or alight on the highest cathedral spires. 
And all through the sunny summer hours 
I'd flit 'round among the meadow flowers." 
Now it chanced that every single word 
By a passing Fairy was overheard,, 
As she saw the discontented crowd. 
So dejected-looking, she laughed aloud, 

[8^ ] 



T H i: 1 H R E E WISH E S 

And said, " Though I think you're each a dunce, 

Your wishes shall be fulfilled at once. 

You'll soon be tired of the silly freak. 

But I'll let you try it for just a week." 

She waved her hand, and the startled Fish 

Discovered that he had attained his wish ; 

And half in ecstasy, half in fright, 

He flew awav and was out of sicrht. 

The Butterfly gasped as he suddenly found 

That he was lunning along the ground. 

" I was right," he chuckled, " the earth is best, — 

Now Ell sit in the shade for a little rest." 

rhe Kitten was scared as scared could be 

When she found herself in the tossing sea. 

'I'was exciting to swim through the waves, and yet 

Somehow it seemed so awfully wet. 

But she found it quite easy to float and dive. 

And she said, " Em the happiest kitten alive." 

A week passed by and then the four 

Again assembled upon the shore. 

And again the Fairy laughed aloud 

As she saw the dilapidated crowd. 

The Butterfly was so forlorn. 

His feet were bruised and his wings were torn — 

And he told in a trembling voice of woe 

The trials he'd had to undergo. 

He'd been stepped on, run over and chased by a dog. 

Stuck in the mud, and lost in a fog. 

Then he whispered low, while his cheek turned pale, 

[821 



THE THREE WISHES 

A horrid tin can had been tied to his tail ! 

And he begged the Eairy to declare 

That he might return to his native air. 

The Fish appeared so faint and weak 

He was really scarcely able to speak; 

But he told of the troubles he had been through, 

How the children ran after him, crying " Shoo ! ** 

'Neath their old straw hats they imprisoned him, — 

then 
With shouts of glee they freed him again. 
At last, a professor, old and grav, 
Caught him and took him home one day. 
The Fish was scared to the ends of his fins 
As he saw the chloroform, cotton and pins. 
They were new to him, — but he understood. 
And flew out of the window as quick as he could. 
And he begged of the kindly Fairy, that he 
Might be sent back home to his dear old sea. 
The Kitten related a thrilling tale 
Of how she encountered a monstrous whale ; 
And once, when a bite of meat she took, 
Her tongue was pierced by a hidden hook ; 
Again she was caught in an awful net. 
And the poor little thing was so soaking wet. 
That she just sat down and began to cry 
For the farmhouse kitchen, warm and dry. 
She coaxed the Fairy to let her go home, 
Saying never again she'd ask to roam. 
The Fairy smiled, " My dears," said she, 

[ 83 ] 



T H E T H R E K W I S H E S 

'When those silly notions possessed you three, 
1 thought it over, and felt quite sure 
That the only way to eftect a cure. 
Was to give your project a careful test 
And prove to you each that home is best. 
And now Em sure you'll all agree 
That where you belong it is best to be." 
" That's so," said the Eish, as he gave a leap 
And landed safe in the briny deep. 
Ihe Butterfly cast off his look of care 
And soared aloft through the sunny air. 
While the Kitten paused but to say Good-by, 
Fhen scurried home by the fire to dry. 
And the Fairy said, as away she went, 
*' { think hereafter they'll live content." 



[ 84 ] 



A NARROW PvSCAPK 

A PA PER Doll was once afloat 
In a treacherous little paper boat. 

She cried aloud, with a startled shriek, 
" Oh, dear, I fear my boat's aleak ! 

'* The water comes in all around, 
I'm almost sure I shall be drowned ! 

" And then besides, I have a notion 

There are whales and sharks in this great ocean." 

Now the ocean was nothing but a pail 
Where Polly had put the boat to sail ; 

And then she had thoughtlessly run away. 
With other dolls and toys to play. 

But she came back just in time to save 
That paper doll from a watery grave. 



[ 85 1 



THE SAUCY CABBAGE 

A LITTLE cabbage here is seen, 
He's very young and very green. 
" My child," his mother oft would say, 
" Put on your hat at once, 1 pray. 
Your leaves will wither up and dry, 
And you will fade away and die." 
" Who cares ? " the naughty cabbage said. 
" I'll have no hat upon my head ! " 
Dearie, Fm sure you'd not do that, 
But in the garden wear your hat. 



[ 86 1 



THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS 

-"-w- -f— :- -M- -J-H- -M- -J— i- -M- -{—•;- -M- -r-j- -^^- -;— i- -m- -tH- -m- -m- -m- 4-^- 4— i- -m- -m- 

TWAS the night before Christmas, and all 
through the house 
Everybody was sleeping as still as a mouse. 
No stockings were hung and no presents prepared, 
No Christmas-tree ordered, — but nobody cared ; 
Or at least no one seemed to be troubling himself. 
No turkeys were killed, no mince pies on the shelf — 
No bright-berried holly was wreathed on the wall. 
No mistletoe bough had been hung in the hall. 
'Twas surely the night before Christmas, and yet 
Every one in the house seemed this fact to forget. 
But this happened in Norway, so nothing was WTong, 
For their night before Christmas is just six months 
long. 



.[«9l 



AN AW FIJI. FATE 

! — Jr -! — r -1—f -! — r -5 — i- -! — b-l — f* -! — f- -r-f -! — E- -! — I- -! — i- -1 — \--\ — i- -! — r •! — h -! — r -r -f -}- -i- -! — i- -i — !- 

THF",RE was a naughty little girl who 
wouldn't sew her seam, 
And when she went to bed at night she had 
an avN/ful dream. 
She thought a great big sewing-bird came hovering 

o'er her head, 
His claws were full of needles and his tail was made 

of thread. 
He whisked her off to a lonely isle where the 

thimble-berries grow, 
And there, hemmed in by cotton-trees, she had to 
sit and sew. 



THE CANNER 

■7'"T" -i' "!" 't"^ ']' "1" •T^"*T* "r^T* ■!" "!" '!' '!' 'I' "i" *r""T* -r""!' t*"*!" '!' ">' U' 'i* "v"^ tit -r "i" -r""!* *r""T' 'K"!* t 

A CANNER, exceedingly canny, 
One morning remarked to his granny, 
" A canner can can 
Any thing that he can. 
But a canner can't can a can, can he ^ 



1 90] 



THK NAUGHTY LITTLE GERANIUM 

.;-.;- -1 — [..1 — [..J [-.J — [..( — [..j^^.j — ;--! — j-.j — ;- j_{..j»^.i — [-.j — |. j — [..j — !..[ — j. j — j-.uj.^ {..j [. 

A BUD of red geranium 
One sunny Summer day, 
Grew tired of staying in the yard 
And tried to run away. 
Watching its opportunity. 

Heedless of consequence, 
It slipped between the pickets 

Of the sheltering garden fence. 
Now, though this foolish little flower 

Was but a bud, alack ! 
Outside the fence it bloomed, and then 
It never could get back. 



9^ ] 



A COMPETENT ARTIST 



P 



OLLY sat drawing at her little desk, 

A thoughtful wrinkle on her baby brow ; 

She drew an animal of form grotesque, 

And calmly stated, " Auntie, that's a cow." 

" It is, indeed, a charming cow," I said ; 

" But cows have legs, and yours has none, my 
pet ; 
" I know," said Polly, nodding her wise head, 

" But, Auntie, they are in the pencil yet." 



A GREAT SINGER 

SIGNOR Campanini de Reszke Du Bois 
Had a wonderful, thunderful, blunderful voice. 
He could sing with a roaring, uproarious roar, 
Like the turbulent waves as they boom on the shore. 
Or again, he could sing with an ear-splitting shriek. 
Like a thousand wild pigs in unanimous squeak. 
But somehow or other none seemed to rejoice 
To hear Campanini de Reszke Du Bois. 



[ 92 ] 



THE CAREER OF THE COOKY-CAT 

-M- -M- -M- 4H- 4H- -JH- -M- -M- 4H- -5H- -M- -!— i- ^-J- -h-f 4H- -i--- ^H- -M- -!— i- ^W- -!- -1- 

GRANDMAMMA made a cooky-cat, 
Brown and spicy and round and fat. 
She set it up on the pantry shelf 
Safe and sound, and thought to herself, 
To-morrow morning when Bobby comes, 
I'll give him that cat and some sugar-plums. 
.\nd Grandma smiled and felt very glad. 
For Bobby was such a dear httle lad 
So the cookv-cat sat there and waited awhile 
When Bridget espied it and said with a smile,. 
" Arrah ! there's a cat the Missus has made, 
ril take it and kape it for Mikey, indade. 
'Twill do the bve good and the Missus won't mind, 
She's such a shwate ladv, so ginerous an' kind." 
She went to the kitchen and meaning no ill. 
Laid the cooky-cat down on the broad window-sill. 
An hour or so later, a tramp passing by 
On that beautiful cooky-cat fastened his eye. 
He looked and he listened, and hearing no sound. 
He felt sure he was safe, there was no one around, — 
He stealthily reached to the sill where it sat 
And wickedly stole that dear cooky-cat ! 
Then away down the road he rapidly ran. 
Oh, oh, what a bad, wicked, bold beggar-man ! 
Then he thought to himself, this cake spiced and 

sweet. 
Is not just the kmd of food I wish to eat. 
I'll stop at this baker's and ask him for bread, 

[ 93 ] 



THE CAREER OF THE COOKY-CAT 

And offer to give him the cooky instead. 

To the baker of course it all seemed very strange, 

But he was quite willing to make the exchange. 

For of bread he'd a plenty, but never before 

Was such a fine cooky-cat seen in his store. 

In the window 'twas placed and a crowd gathered 

round 
To see the cat-cooky so spiced and so browned. 
And all of the children who looked at the cat, 
At once began screaming " Mamma, buy me that ! " 
Now soon to the window (and this^is quite queer) 
Our little friend Bob and his parents drew near. 
And his father exclaimed as he noticed the toy, — 
" Why, mother made such cats when 1 was a boy. 
rU buy it for you, Bob, for Em certain that 
Is a regular, genuine old-fashioned cat." 
They carried home the wonderful prize 
With its citron nose and its currant eyes, 
And Bobby played with it all the day 
And at bed-time put it securely away 
In the nursery cupboard, and said " Good-night, 
Dear cooky-cat till the morning light." 
But, alas, when the house was dark and still 
The cooky-cat felt a sudden thrill 
For she heard the patter of tiny mice, 
Attracted no doubt by her fragrant spice. 
Nearer and nearer they slyly came, — 
The cooky-cat trembled through all her frame. 
They climbed to the shelf on which she sat, — 

[94] 



THK CAREER OF THE COOKY-CAT 

Alas, alas for the cooky-cat ! 
She plead for niercv — the mice said " Nay, 
Vo turn about is but fair play. 
A cat will always eat mice and that 
Makes it fair for the mice to eat the cat ! " 
So that was the cooky-cat's sad fate. 
Those greedy mice just ate and ate. 
And in the morning Bobby found 
Only a few crumbs scattered round. 
Then down in his little chair he sat 
And mourned for his beautiful cookv-cat. 
But his father said, " Don't cry, my son. 
Grandma will make you another one." 



[95] 



THE FLYING HOUSE 

A MAN who did ridiculous things, 
Once built a house with two large wings. 

Although for years that house stood firm 
And never even seemed to squirm, 

'Twould have said, — had its thoughts been put in 

words, — 
" I have wings, — I am sure I can fly like the birds." 

It watched its chance, and one fine day, 
The master and mistress had gone away. 

And the house had nothing at all to do, 
So it flapped its wings and away it flew ! 

When the man and his wife came home at night 
They wept and wailed at their sorry plight. 

" Alas ! we are homeless now," said they, 
" Our beautiful house has flown away." 

But the man was brave and ingenious too. 
He said, " I'll tell you what we'll do ; 

"Although impossible it may seem, 
We'll catch our house by a clever scheme. 

" To shoot it is not exactly right. 

So we'll buy a house-trap and set it to-night," 

They bought the best house-trap they could find 
Of a large and very expensive kind, 

[96] 



THK FLYING HOUSK 

And they baited it with tables and chairs, 
(The things for which a house most cares.) 

That night when all was dark and still, 
xA.nd the house was flying about at will, 

A strange looking object caught its eye. 
And toward the thing it began to fly. 

It swooped down quickly and like a dunce 
Was attracted by the bait at once. 

Then with many a cautious glance around. 
The house crept slyly along the ground. 

It never had heard of a snare or gin, 
And it fearlessly poked its chimney in, — 

Click — clack ! went the spring, with a sudden snap. 
The house was caught in that terrible trap ! 

The man and his wife came hurrying up. 
And joy and gladness filled their cup. 

" Hurrah ! " they cried, " our trouble's past. 
We've caught our dear old house at last." 

Then they clipped its wings ; but to feel secure, 
And make assurance doubly sure, 

They built around It a great high fence. 
With a massive gate and a lock immense. 

And now you mav see the reason why 

We build fences 'round houses inclined to fly. 

[97 ] 



A WEIGHTY MATTER 

•i- -r^H- -J-^• 4-+ -i — i* • ! • • ! • -7-^" -f^ -r-^- 4M- 4~H- -K+ 'M- H — i- -i — !- -K^- -^ — S- -J-H- -3 — 1- -^ — r -I — r 

A FEATHER, a Fish and a Flatiron 
Fell into a sea of ink ; 
Now one could float and one could swim 
But the other one had to sink. 
And which one floated and which one swam, 
And which was drowned, do you think ? 



TWO INVALIDS 

" ^^^\ H, dear, I've a frog in my throat to-day." 
I 1 A stork was heard to complain ; 
V^^X " And I," said the fish as he swam away, 

" Have water on the brain." 



[98 ] 



THE VALIANT RABBIT 

.j_^ .j__i. j_^- j^^ J — \.j — J..5 — t-j — J--! — t-J — J- -i^- -s — ;. ^-j- 4— f -! — ^^ •] — !- -! — ;- -j — ]- ^-j- -j--^- .j-4- 



A 



BUNNY once made up his mind 

He'd be a robber rabbit ; 
And everything that he could find, 
He'd run around and grab it. 



He dug, deep in the darksome woods, 
A cave which was a wonder, 

Wherein to hide his stolen goods, 
His booty, and his plunder. 

He bought him then a coat of mail, 
A sword and spear and rifle ; 

He vowed to make the bravest quail. 
With fears they could not stifle. 

He set out on his wild career, 

But ere he'd fairly started, 
Seized with a sudden sickening fear. 

Back to his home he darted. 

For he had seen an awful sight. 

With dread his heart was quaking ; 

And with a frantic, fearful fright 
His armored form was shaking. 

An awful looking specter had 
Attacked him with great vigor ; 

'Twas like himself in armor clad. 
But three or four times bigger. 

L..»C. [ 99 ] 



THE VALIANT RABBIT 

Our hero struck out like a man, 
The foe would but elude him. 

At last Sir Bunny turned and ran — 
The villain still pursued him. 

But when he safely reached his cave, 

After this scene exciting. 
He said, " Although I'm very brave, 

I've had enough of fighting. 

" I'll doff my arms and armor, too ; 

Life should be gay and glad, oh ! " 
And that brave bunny never knew 

He'd fought with his own shadow ! 



[ TOO ] 



THE NAUGHTY CAT 

ONCE there was a little cat 
Who wouldn't go to bed, 
No matter what her mother did 
Or what her mother said. 

The more they tried to coax her, 
The more she just declared 

She wouldn't, couldn t shut her eyes, 
And then she sat and stared. 

Now, what do you think happened 

To this kitten so perverse. 
Whose very naughty conduct 

Kept ever growing worse ? 

They put her in a basket 

And they carried her away, — 

And what became of that bad cat 
I wouldn't like to say ! 



[ 10, ] 



THE UNTIDY CLOCK 

TFIIS naughty clock before you stands, 
He will not wash his face and hands, 
But stands there idly in his place, 
And holds his hands before his face. 
Though soap and sponge are sitting near, 
A basin, too, of water clear, 
The clock has never yet been seen 
To try to make himself more clean. 
Dearie, 'twould give me quite a shock 
It you were like the untidy clock. 



[" 102 1 



A DOLLY DIALOGUE 

4~i- -!- -f 4— {- -M- -M- -J— i- -i—i- -hH- -M- 4—t- 4H- -M- 4~i- -M- -JH* -J—r -M- -M- 4H- 4H- ^-f 



s 



CKNE: The Nursery. Time: Midnight. 

RzLbbcr Doll: This night is very long and weary, 
Excuse me if I stretch and yawn. 

I must confess Em tired too, 
dearie, 
And it is several hours till 
dawn. 

Em rather glad of rest and quiet, 
I'he nights are better than the 
days. 
Yes, for the nursery's in a riot 
And Polly tears me when she 
plays. 

Don't say a word against our Polly ! 
I won't allow it, do you hear ? 

I didn't ! Em her favorite dolly, — 
She called me that, — how very 
queer. 
What utter nonsense you are talk- 
ing. 
Of course dear Polly loves me 

best. 
She takes me when she goes out 

walking, — 
But that's because you're finely 

dressed. 
Yes, wait till you're a little older, 



Rag Doll : 

Bisque Doll : 
Paper Doll : 

R libber Doll . 

Paper Doll : 
Rag Doll: 

(sotto voce) 

Bisque Doll . 



CJiijia Doll : 
Rtcbber Doll 



A DOLLY DIALOGUE 

Paper Doll : 



Rubber Doll . 
(sighing) 

Bisque Doll : 

Rubber Doll . 

Rag Doll : 
Bisque Doll : 



Wax Doll: 
China Doll : 
Worsted Doll . 
Paper Doll : 



Rubber Doll : 
China Doll : 

(laughing) 
Wax Doll : 
Rubber Doll : 

Bisque Doll : 
Rag Doll : 
Wax Doll : 
Rag Doll: 
Brownie Doll 



Till Polly gets you torn and 
soiled. 
That child ! I think some one 
should scold her, 
There's danger of her being 
spoiled. 

She doesn't mean to be so care- 
less, — 
I don't mind how she batters me. 
Of course you don't, your head is 
hairless, 
And you're as dirty as can be. 
My hand is smashed. 

Mv foot is broken. 
I haven't seen my cap for days. 
Perhaps a word in kindness spoken 
Would make our Polly mend 
her ways. 
Or mend her dolls ! • 

That would be better. 

Fd like my arm put in a sling. 
Let's send her a Round Robin 
letter ! 
A good idea. 

The very thing ! 
But who will write it P 

Lm not able. 
I think I can^ Lm pretty smart. 

[ io6 ] 



A DOLLY DIALOGUE 

Rubber Doll : 



Wax Doll : 
Bisque Doll : 

Rubber Doll : 
Droi^'iiie Doll : 

Bisque Doll : 

Wax Doll: 

Brownie Doll 

(writing; 

Bisqiie Doll : 

Rubber Doll. 

Brownie Doll , 
Bisque Doll : 
Brownie Doll . 



Well, sit right down at this small 
table, 
Here is a pencil. Now, let's start. 

What shall we say ? 

Don't write too gruffly, 
I've no wish to ofFend the child. 
Oh, no, we mustn't word it roughly. 

All right, ni make it kind and 
mild. 

Tell her we love her very clearly, 
And we regret to make a fuss, 

But we'd he ^-rnteful, — state it 
clearly, — 
If she'd take better care of us. 

"Oh, Polly dear, we love vou 
madly, 
But you are naughty without 
doubt"— 

No, that won't do, it sounds so 
badly. 
Here, take my head and rub it 
out. 
Thank vou. 

Now try a new beginning. 
" Our Polly dear, we love you 
much. 
Your smile is sweet, your ways 
are winning-. 



[ '07 ] 



A DOLLY DIALOGUE 



your 



Bisque Doll : 



Rubber Doll : 
Brownie Doll 

Rag Doll : 



China Doll : 
Wax Doll: 

Worsted Doll 
China Doll : 
Paper Doll : 
Brownie Doll . 



Bisque Doll 



Rag Doll. 



But oh, destructive is 
touch." 

Yes, that is better. 'Twill restrain 
her, 
She'll understand it, she's so 
bright ; 

But can't you print a little plainer? 
Your head again — there, that's 
all right. 
Tell her we love to have her pet us. 
We don't mind thumps and 
bumps and cracks. 
Speak for yourself! 

She should not set us 
Too near the fire if we're of wax. 
She mustn't give us to the kitten, 
Nor step on us, 

Nor get us wet. 
Everything that you've said, I've 
written, 
But there's room on the paper 
yet. 
Well, fill it up with greetings tender. 
Tell her our love is strong and 
true ; 
And any loving message send her, 
That, as you write, occurs to you. 
Tell her we're glad that we're her 
dolhes, 

[ io8 ] 



A I) O L L Y D I A L O G U E 



Rubber Doll : 

Bisque Doll : 
Paper Doll : 
Brownie Doll . 
Bisque Doll : 

Rag Doll: 

Worsted Doll . 
Paper Doll : 
Wax Doll: 
China Doll : 
Rubber Doll : 
Brownie Doll : 
Bisque Doll : 



Of all small girlies she's our 
choice. 
No smile is half so sweet as Polly's, 
No voice so merry as her voice. 
There, now it's done. 

We'll light this taper 
And siorn and seal it. 

Come, be brisk. 
Mv name first — Rag — next, 

Worsted, 
Paper, 
Wax, 



Chi 



na, 



Rubber, 

Brownie, 

Bisque. 



[ ^09 ] 



A KirJD J.ADY 

.j — ,^ A. — I 4"^- -H- -!— ^- -I — ! ; — ;- -i — !- -/— i- -I — r -I — r -; — r -I — '.- •', — ;- -', — J- -! — \- -hH- -! — h -J-*{- '! — \- -! h 

A WARM-HEARTED Lidy was old Mis- 
tress Mabel, 
To whom the cold weather was always a 
shock ; 
She bought legghigs to put on the legs of her table, 
And mittens to put on the hands of her clock. 



THE PIE 



T 



HE pie is just a little tart," 

My hostess said, and I 
Said pleasantly, " You mean a tart 
Is just a little pie." 



[ no ] 



A VKXKD QUESTION 

-K^- -i — !- -'r~i- -i — i- -i — r -t~^ -i — r -i — r 'i — b -i — £■ -KH- *J — r -I — J- -! — i- -i — J- -! — E- -H- -\ — [- -r -f -! — r-'r-r 

THERE was a wise old botanist, and he was 
known to fame. 
Linnaeus Cincinnatus Hocus-Pocus was his 

name. 
His knowledge was stupendous, his wisdom was 

profound. 
His learning in botanic fields was something to 

astound. 
But there was one deep question this wiseacre could 

not solve, 
And round its puzzling mysteries his mind would 

e'er revolve. 
He'd sit within his study and he'd ponder by the 

hour, 
Muttering, " Is a cabbage rose what we may 

cauliflower ? " 



[ i>i ] 



ALPHABET ANTICS 

■]■ • ; ■. ; .- ; • ^—j- -}-^ ■'^- ^ — |- -j— {- -; — ;- -\~~^ -j-^- -; — ~ -^ — j- •}--{. -}— j- -j~h 4H- -("f -Kn- -i — r •!- 



A 



WAS an auk 

Who went for a walk, 
He chatted and smiled 
With a dog and a child. 
Affable Auk ! 



B was a Bear 

Who sat on a chair ; 
But his size was so great 
The chair broke with his weightc 
Burly old Bear ! 

C was a Cow 

Who didn't know how 
To make muffins for tea, 
So she ran up a tree. 

Curious Cow ! 

D was a Deer 

Who studied a year; 
She learned how to spell 
And wrote very well. 

Diligent Deer ! 

E was an Eel 

Who tried to conceal 

His sinuous shape 

By a red-and-white cape, 

Elegant Eel ! 

[ ,,2] 



A L P H i^ B b T ANTICS 

F was a Frog 

With excitement agog, 
For he feared that a bat 
Would fly off with his hat ! 

Fanciful Frog ! 

G was a Goose 

Who was wrong in her head, 
And she always believed 
Everything that was said. 

Gullible Goose ! 

H was a Hen 

Who maltreated her chicks. 
She whipped them with rods 
And beat them with sticks. 

Horrible Hen ! 

I was an Ibex 

Who hated his school, 
He missed all his lessons 
And grew up a fool. 

Ignorant Ibex ! 

J was a Jay 

Who sang all the day. 
He was very wxll dressed 
In a neat ruffled vest. 

Jaunty young Jay ! 

[ i'3 ] 



ALPHABET ANTICS 

K was a Kite 

Who flew in the night 

And brought peaches and pearls 

To good little girls. 

Kind-hearted Kite ! 

L was a Lamb 

Who wanted to know 
If he went half-a-mile 
How far he would go. 

Ludicrous Lamb ! 

M was a Mink 

Whose favorite drink 
Was milk and cologne 
Which he stirred with a bone. 

Marvelous Mink ! 

N was a Newt 

Who played on a flute ; 
Each evening he'd spend 
With a different friend. 

Neighborly Newt ! 

O was an Owl 

With a red velvet cowl, 
Who had, I am told, 
A coach made of gold. 

Opulent Owl ! 

[ iH ] 



ALPHABET ANTICS 

P was a Pig 

Who rode in a gig, 
The obsequious crowd 
Saluted and bowed. 

Popular Pig ! 

Qwas a Quail 

Who wanted to sail — 
But he said he forgot 
To buy him a yacht. 

Quizzical Quail ! 

R was a Rat 

Who determined to chat 
With the Pope in his home, 
So he started for Rome. 

Resolute Rat! 

S was a Snipe 

Who smoked a long pipe, 
And offered stewed plums 
To all of liis chums. 

Sociable Snipe ! 

T was a Toad 

Who carried a load 
Of plasters and pills, 
For he feared many ills. 

Timorous Toad 

['■S] 



ALPHABEl ANTICS 

U was a Unicorn 

Happv and glad, 
But he broke his best tea-set 
And that made him sad. 
Unhappy Unicorn ! 

V was a Viper 

Dressed neatly in white, 
When any one called 
He was kind and polite. 

Virtuous Viper ! 

W was a Worm 

Who was old and infirm, 
Afflicted with Gout 
He hobbled about. 

Woe-begone Worm i 

X was a Xerus 

With a long tail. 

He carried his luncheon 

To School in a pail. 

Excellent Xerus ! 

Y was a Yak 

Who painted a plaque 
With scrupulous care 
To sell at a fair. 

Yellowish Yak ! 

[ ii6] 



ALPHABEl^ ANTICS 

Z was a Zebra 

Striped black and white, 

He studied all day 

And he studied all night. 

Zealous old Zebra 



A TRAVELER 

THERE was an old man with a bucket; 
A ticket he took to Nantucket. 
Said he, " At the wicket 
They'll take up this ticket. 
But till then in my bucket I'll tuck it." 



[ i'7] 



RK IRIB.UTION 

ONCE on a time there was a boy, the bravest 
ever known ; 
He had a bear, a lion, and a tiger, all his own. 
He kept them in his nursery, and that bo^ , I do 

declare. 
Would boldly face the lion and the 

tiger and the bear. 
One day he proudly spake to them : 

"Well may you crouch and cower ! 
O mighty beasts, your fate is sealed ; 1 

have you in my power. 
But ere I send you to your doom, to 

you I'll kindly state 
Why on your unprotected heads must 

fall this direful fate. 
They tell me when you roam at large 

within the jungle glade, 
You eat up passing travelers who I.i 

your haunts have strayed. 
They say you've dined on many men, 

perhaps a boy or two, 
But there's a possibility these tales may 

not be true. 
So one last chance I'll give you your defamers to 

defy ; 
I'll set you free if you their accusations can deny." 
When the lion and the tiger and the bear this offer 

heard, 

[ ,,8 ] 




RKTRIBUTION 




They sat in sober silem 
they never said a word. 

" Ha ! " cried the bov 

cannot say these stories are 
not true ; 

Then tit for tat ! Justice de- 
mands, my friends, that 
I eat you ! " 




The shamefaced beasts could 
not deny that this was oniv 
fair. 

So that boy ate up the tiger 
and the Hon and the bear! 



THE ADVENTUROUS KANGAROO 

THELRE once was a capable Kangaroo 
Who wanted to sail in a red canoe, 
He started one day 
And he paddled away 
To the coast of Timbuctoo. 

He tied his boat and he hopped ashore, 
He stayed a couple of hours or more, 

He went to tea 

With a Chimpanzee 
Who kept a candy store. 

Then he asked the time of a passing hen. 
She said it was nearly half-past ten, 

So he jumped in his boat 

And set it afloat 
And sailed back home again. 



T 2C 



BELINDA BUMBLE 

IITTLE Belinda Bumble 
Would always growl and grumble 
-^If she couldn't have exactly what she 

wanted every day; 
She'd whine and growl, 
And frown and scowl 
Till the people ran away. 



Little Belinda Bumble 

Would ahvays fret and mumble 
If her food was not exactly served according to her 
wish.; 

She'd fuss and fret 

And fly in a pet 
Till thev took awav the dish. 



Little Belinda Bumble 

Would always stub and stumble 
If she couldn't select the road to take when she went 
out to roam ; 

She'd scufl^e and stamp 

And rage and ramp 
Till thev had to take her home. 

[ i^^ ] 



BELINDA BUMBLE 

One day Belinda Bumble 

Asked for a sugar jumble, 
But her mother said, " I'll give no cakes to a child 
with such naughty ways ! " 

Then Belinda was fed 

On water and bread 
For days and days and days. 



Now Little Belinda Bumble 

Is very meek and humble ; 
She's kind and sweet and pleasant, and she does as 
she is told ; 

And -every day, 

The people say, 
" She's just as good as gold ! " 



T 22 I 
J 



THE POLITE DEER 

DIGNIFIED deer, with sprangling horns, 

Stepped into a hatter's and said : 
" I am pleased with the stock which your 
window adorns ; 
Pray, show me some hats for my head." 



A 



The hatter was frightened half out of his wits, 
But with manner quite bland and sedate, 

He said: " I'm afraid I have nothing that fits 
Your particular kind of a pate." 

Said the deer : " Sir, your window that statement 
denies ; 

I ask nothing that's better than these ; 
I don't so much care for the fit or the size. 

But I'd like a variety, please. 

" So give me a felt hat, and give me a straw. 

And a beaver of superfine nap ; 
A wide-awake also, a broad mackinaw, 

And a little silk traveling-cap. 

" A red smoking-fez, embroidered in gold, 

A helmet of white, lined with green, 
A big, furry sealskin to keep out the cold. 

And a sailor-cap like a marine. 

[ 1^-3 ] 



THE POLITE DEER 

" No, I don't want them boxed, — I'll wear them at 
once ; 

Indeed, as I often have said. 
Who carries his hats in a box is a dunce 

When there's plenty of room on his head." 



[ 1^4 ] 



THE BAD ADDER 

THERE was a little adder who said he 
wouldn't add, 
As he sat in school one pleasant summer 

day ; 
The teacher said such conduct was very, very bad. 
And the naughty little adder ran away. 

The garden gate was barred. 

But he saw down in the yard, 
A monstrous ladder standing very high ; 

And that adder 

Climbed the ladder. 

At each round a-growing madder. 
Till he seemed to reach the sky. 

And I have never heard 

Another single word. 
And of our hero not a trace I've found. 

But, of course, you must admit 

Up there he still must sit. 
As he never has descended to the ground. 

And I'm sure there's nothing sadder 

Than to be a little adder 
A-sitting on a ladder's topmost round. 



L 125 ] 



PRECAUTION 

ON the first of January 
An eccentric Cassowary 
Said, " Forgetfulness has always been my 
one dread. 
So I'll sit here till December 
In order to remember 

Just where I spent the year of 1900." 



TWO MODELS 

THERE was a small child who was cross as 
could be, 
And snippish and snappish quite dreadful 
to see ; 
Another was smiling and happy all day, 
And had just the sw eetest and pleasantest way ; 
And this is a secret between you and me, 
Like which of these two are you trying to be? 



[ 1^6 ] 



A CHRISTMAS PARTY 

ALONG time ago, in a land far away, 
Mother Goose gave a party one bright 
Christmas-day. 
She marshaled her children in brilliant array, 
And invited the folk from Fairy-Tale way. 
There was sweet Cinderella, Dame Trot and her 

cat ; 
And Jack the Giant-Killer, and Horner and Spratt. 
There was Little Boy Blue, 
And the Frog who would woo, 

And the funny Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe. 
There was Little Miss Muffetand Red-Ridinghood, 
And Hop-o'-my-Thumb and the Babes in the 

Wood. 
There was jolly King Cole 
And his fiddlers droll, 

And a great many more that I cannot enroll. 
When all were assembled, so history tells. 
They heard in the distance a chiming of bells, 
And, drawn by his eight prancing reindeer so gay, 
Santa Claus soon appeared in his glittering sleigh. 
The children all gathered around him with joy. 
And each one received a most beautiful toy ; 
And — this part of the tale you can scarcely believe — 
Whatever they asked they were sure to receive. 
Their gifts made them all as happy as kings. 
But some of them asked for the funniest things. 
The Babes in the Wood desired new winter suits. 

[ >^-7 ] 



A CHRISTMAS PARTY 

Cinderella said she wanted high rubber boots. 

And Little Boy Blue was longing, he said, 

For a nice little bed, 

With a blue-and-white spread. 

And a soft feather pillow to put 'neath his head. 

Jack Horner requested a silver pie-knife; 

Jack Spratt said he'd like a new gown for his wife. 

Then Jack and Jill said 

Tnat tiiey wanted a sled. 

With shining steel runners, and painted bright red. 

Simple Simon announced he'd like turnover pies, 

Of various flavors and rather good size. 

Mother Hubbard remarked, in quavering tones, 

That shed be much obliged for a bushel of bones. 

Bo Peep said she'd love to have a new crook ; 

The Qiieen of Hearts asked for a recipe-book. 

And thus Santa Claus went on through the list ; 

Each had a fine present and no one was missed. 

Then he jumped into his sleigh and drove out of 

sight ; 
" Merry Christmas," he called, " and to all a good 

night ! " 
And each guest went home saying, " This seems to 

me 
The very best party that ever could be." 



[ 128 ] 



A WINDFALL 

•A*-^*< .A»«/« ■■ ' — * ^ * *i-- j # JIb^* -i— »lm J*.*^- -|——^ .j*..*^ - I ' — ^ ■« - J— ■*^* ' * •- "I- -i*-^- .J*.^-. J...^* m \ m. ^ * .I*-^* m.'^-* .I*.*|* m>V« ».*>.*^ 

MR. Benny Factor Scattergood 
Performed kind deeds whenever he could. 
He specially liked the children to please, 
So he planted a grove of Christmas trees, 
Lie tended them carefully day by day, 
And they grew in a most astonishing way. 
They were thrifty and strong from top to root. 
And they bore the finest grade of fruit. 
Their branches were loaded with candies and toys 
And all sorts of treasures for girls and boys ; 
And old Benny Factor was heard to say 
They'd be ready to pick by Christmas day. 
But the weather turned cold, and, would you believe, 
A wind sprang up on Christmas Eve 
And blew so hard that, if you please, 
It blew everything off of those Christmas trees. 
Next morning the children gathered around 
And saw the toys all on the ground. 
And old Benny Factor Scattergood 
Told them to carry off all they could. 
Then, before a body could count to three, 
There wasn't a thing left under a tree ! 
Old Scattergood laughed till he bent quite double, 
Saying, " That gale saved me a lot of trouble ! " 



[ 1^9 ] 



THE NAUGHTY KETTLE 

THIS kettle has a wilful way 
Of singing through his nose all day. 
And though it is his great desire 
To be a member of the choir, 
He will not go to singing-school 
And learn to sing by master's rule ; 
But just keeps on his droning drawl, 
Because he thinks he knows it all. 
Dearie, I'm very sure that you 
Will sing in tones both clear and true. 



[ 1.30 ] 



A SERIOUS DEFECl^ 

PADEREWSKI Joseffy Fortissimo Lee 
Was the greatest pianist you ever did see. 
He rendered fantasias, gavottes and sonatas. 
Cadenzas and overtures, fugues and cantatas. 
He could plav like the sweep of the rushing cyclone. 
Or as softly and low as the South wind's faint moan. 
He knew all the works of Beethoven and Liszt, — 
Of Wagner and Chopin, not one had he missed. 
He won honors and laurels wherever he went, 
And he knew he deserved them, so he was content. 
But his pride had a fall, for his small niece one day 
Came to hear her great Uncle Fortissimo play. 
And she said, as the master turned smiling to greet 

her, 
" Please, sir, can you play ' Peter, Peter, Pumpkin- 
eater ' ? " 

He was deeply chagrined, and he felt very blue, 
But he meekly replied, " No, I can't, dear, can 

you r 
" Oh, yes," she responded, and flew to the keys — 
With her two fat forefingers she played it with ease. 
And she afterw^ard said, " I would rather be me. 
Than Paderewski Joseffy Fortissimo Lee." 



[ 13,-! ] 



DOT'S Q.UKRY 

DOT and her father saw a yacht 
A-sailing on the sea. 
" What kind of boat is that ? " said Dot. 
" A catboat, dear," said he. 

A question rose in Dotty's mind — 

She watched the sloop afloat. # 

Then said : " Is that one tied behind 
A httle kitten boat ? " 



[ i,u ] 



A FUNNY LITTLE GIRL 



I 



KNOW the dearest little girl, she's just as 

sweet as jam, 
And 1 have heard it stated she is " Grandma's 
Blessed Lamb." 



One day she went to service in the village meeting 

house ; 
She sat so still and shy they called her " Mother's 

Little Mouse." 

And when she went to Auntie May's, at least so I 

have heard. 
That little girl was told that she was " Auntie's 

Precious Bird." 

Now somebody explain it, for mv brain is in a 

whirl. 
How she's a Lamb, a Mouse, a Bird and yet a 

Little Girl ! 



[ '35 ] 



ANOTHER VISIT OF ST. NICHOLAS 

' ^^ I A WAS the day before Christmas, and all 

I through the school 

JL The pupils were restless and broke every 

rule ; 
A spirit of mischief pervaded the air, 
And the master at last stamped his foot in despair, 
He thumped on his desk, and he said, " Girls and 

boys. 
Come to order at once. I won't have so much 

noise ! 
Attend to your lessons, and understand clearly, 
The next one who speaks shall be punished 

severely." 
Appalled by this threat, for a time no one spoke. 
Until, with a chuckle suppressed to a choke, 
" Please, sir," said the voice of the tiniest scholar, 
" To-morrow is Christmas, and Tve got to holler ! " 
The pupils looked scared, and the master looked 

black, 
He glanced at the birch rod that hung at his back ; 
But as he arose and was turning around, 
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. 
He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot, 
And his clothes were all covered with ashes and soot. 
" Merry Christmas, my children," he said, with a 

wink. 
Then he turned to the master, and — what do vou 

think ? — 

[ 136 ] 



ANOTHER VISIT OF ST. NICHOLAS 

He looked at him queerly. " My dear sir," he said, 
" You may go to your home, and I'll stay here 

instead. 
Take your coat from the peg and your hat from the 

shelf, — 
The rest of to-day I will teach school myself." 
The master departed. St. Nicholas took 
His seat at the desk and he opened a book. 
"Hoot, toot ! " he exclaimed. " What nonsense is 

this? 
Til teach you some lessons worth learning, I wis. 
And nothing to-day in this school may be taught, 
But shall with the spirit of Christmas be fraught. 
Put away all your books and just listen to me." 
The children right gladly obeyed his decree. 
And attentively sat, while St. Nicholas* lore 
Made attractive the studies so stupid of yore. 
The botany class he found easy to please 
By a simple analysis of Christmas-trees ; 
Their species and habits, their culture and use. 
And the relative merits of hemlock and spruce. 
Of the red holly-berry and white mistletoe 
He gave a description and told how they grow. 
The history class learned that once on a time. 
Long, long years ago, in a far distant clime. 
There dawned on this earth the first Christmas Day ; 
And this class was well pleased to discover that they 
Had no long string of difficult dates to remember; 
They need learn only one, — 25th of December. 

[ '37] 



ANOTHER VISIT OF ST. NICHOLAS 

The astronomy class was told of a star 

That appeared long years since, in a country afar. 

Then St. Nicholas said, " Children dear, if you 

Dlease, 
We'll now sing some carols and catches and glees." 
The geography class then this queer teacher told 
Of his far-away home at the North Pole so cold. 
He described it, and then the obliging old chap 
Turned round to the blackboard and drew them a 

map, 
To show them the route which he travels each year. 
With his miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer. 
The classes in science were then taught to know 
The wonderful value of ice, frost and snow ; 
And St. Nicholas chuckled while wisely dilating 
On the process of snowballing, coasting or skating. 
The geometry pupils were sent to the board, 
And by diagrams made with a crayon and cord. 
Were taught to inscribe with an accurate eye 
Component triangles in circles of pie. 
A lecture on natural history then 
The teacher announced as he laid down his pen ; 
And the pupils all listened, delighted to hear 
Description and tales of the noble reindeer. 
Ornithology followed, in well-chosen words 
Which made clear to them all that the principal 

birds, 
The handsomest birds, and the birds of most use, 



[ ij« ] 



ANOTHER VISIT OF ST. NICHOLAS 

Without doubt are the turkey, the duck and the 

goose. 
Physiology next, and the children learned why 
It is best not to eat too much candy or pie. 
Last of all came the class in industrial arts, 
And by numerous diagrams, sketches and charts 
St. Nick to the children, who round him were 

flocking, 
Demonstrated the best way to hang up a stocking. 
*' Now lessons are over," St. Nicholas said, 
" Skurry home, eat your suppers and hop into bed. 
For until you are all wrapped in slumber profound, 
I cannot start out on mv annual round." 
He sprang to his sleigh and he reached for his whip ; 
The children ran home with a hop and a skip. 
But they heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of 

sight, 
" Merry Christmas to all ! I will drop in to-night." 



[ T39 ] 



THE WEATHER-COCK 

•*• "i" 'I' "i" 'J* %' 'r *»■ 'J* *»■ ■*■ ■»• "**■ ^'* *iT *i" •/• *»■ "I* •** 'I* *i" *«*■*»* •}• "» •}• "S" "f^^v* T*^*i* 'I* "* *?*"*T**J*"^"" "(• "v" "r •[• 

FROM the very tiptop of the town hall steeple 
A big brass cock looks down on the people. 
Whenever he hears the whistle blow 
He flaps his wings and begins to crow. 
(This story is quite true, my dear, 
But, of course, that big brass cock can't hear.) 



THE CLAM 

THERE was an inconsequent clam 
Who lived upon mulberry jam ; 
When they said " Won't you try 
Some cranberry pie P " 
He said, " I believe that I am ! " 



[ 140 ] 



THE FALSE FIRECRACKER 

A LARGE cannon cracker stood up on a shelf, 
And chuckled with glee as it thought to itself: 
" What a joke I shall have on those two 
timid boys, 
For they think I'll explode with a deafening noise. 

*' They little suspect, if they'd just raise my lid, 
That peanuts and candies are under it hid. 
Oh, what fun it will be, when my string they ignite. 
And jump back, expecting a horrible fright ! " 

It all came to pass as the cracker foresaw ; 
They lighted it timidly, breathless with awe. 
But the look on their faces immediately after 
Struck the cracker so droll, it exploded with laughter ! 



[ H' ] 



WASTED OPPORTUNITIES 

I KNOW a little boy named Jim 
Who lives up on our street. 
His parents fitted up for him 
A work-room all complete. 

Provided with all kinds of tools, 
A good big work-bench too — 

Gimlets and saws and planes and rules, 
Hammers and tacks and glue. 

There was a vise, a wrench, an adze, 

A compass, bit, and brace ; 
All kinds of staples, nails, and brads, 

And everything in place. 

With all those tools for his own use 
You'd think he'd learn a little ; 

And yet he's such an awful goose 
He cannot even whittle. 



C H^ ] 




THE CRUMPS OF CRUMPLETOWN 

.}^4„j.4.^. ; . . ; ■■ ; ■ ,; i ; ! 'I 1' M I ! M 'M' I !■ • [ ■]■■ ; ■■ ; ■• ! •■ ! • • { •■ 1 - • { •■]■ • ! • !■■!■!■ ' M ' ■!■ 

To make Crumps, pin a smooth 
sheet of paper to the wall, then take 
a torn bit of paper, the more irregu- 
lar the better, crumple it up in your 
hand, and hold it so its shadow will 
fall on the sheet of paper. Move it slowly 
around until a Crump appears. Draw the out- 
line of the shadow-picture with a pencil and 
afterward fill it in with ink. A single bright 
light should be used to cast the shadow. 



THE day was breaking in Crumpletown, 
The sun rose up and the sun shone down ; 
The weather was fair, 
And up in the air 
The little Crump lark was soaring high, 
And singing his song to the morning sky ; 
The Crumps reluctantly opened their eyes. 
And said, " Why, it must be time to rise ! " 

The day wore on — as days will do — 
Till 'twas afternoon, about half past two 
When old Mother Crump, in her fresh, 

clean cap. 
Sat down at the window, her work in her 

lap; 

And she said, " Goodness knows ! 

I am tired, but I s'pose 
T can't even take time for a rocking-chair doze. 
For it's really my duty to mend these old hose, 

[ >43 ] 








THE CRUMPS OF CRUMPLETOWN 

That are all full of holes from the tops to the toes/' 

She thrust in her hand. 

And a stocking she scanned, 
Saying, "Jim is the hardest on socks in the land ! " 

Then she gave a soft pat 
To her little Crump cat 
Who was awfully funny and awfully fat. 
To him she directed the most of her chat. 
As he stood by her side on a braided rag mat. 
He said not a word, 
But she knew that he heard 
By the sympathy shown in his voice when he purred. 

Intent en her work, 

She sewed with a jerk. 
For old Mother Crump was never a shirk ; 

When, raising her eye, 

What should she espy 
But her neighbor's son Johnny go capering by — 
Of course the old lady was bound to know why. 

She shouted, "Hi! Hi! " 

He made this reply : 
"Can't stop ! In a hurry ! A great show ! Oh, my! " 

Now old Mother Crump was a chipper old soul. 
And dearly loved anything jolly or droll. 

She said, " I must go 

To see this great show. 
Tm sure it's more fun than to sit here and sew." 
She threw down her stockings, her needles and yarn, 

[ 144 ] 



THE CRUMPS OF CRUMPLETOWN 

She flung on her bonnet and rushed to the barn, 

Sayirtg, " I cannot run 

Like Neighbor Jones's son, 
And I don't want to get there too late for the 

fun." 



So, being a sensible lady indeed. 
She saddled and bridled her noble Crump 
steed ; 

Who, when he was freed. 

Set off at full speed. 
And down to the village they both did 

proceed. 
The first one they met was old Mr. Stone, 
Who chanced to be passing, afoot and alone. 
His wife's little bonnet was perched on his head ; 
Of feathers or trimming it hadn't a shred 
His manner was mild. 

And he genially smiled. 
Though a grumpy old Crump he sometimes was 

styled. 

The old lady rode on, 

Still looking for John, 
And wishing she knew which way he had gone ; 
When Miss Crumpalina, a haughty young miss. 
Put her head out the window and shouted out this: 

" Are you anxious to go 

To that travelling show P 
It's around the next corner, if you want to know. 

[ H5 ] 







THE CRUMPS OF CRUMPLETOWN 

Now old Mother Crump didn't like it a bit 
To be talked to that way by a silly young chit, 

She shook her old head, 

And to herself said, 
" I don't think that Crump girl is very well-bred. 
She sits in her window and looks like a statue, 
And I just can't abide the way she stares at you ; 
With her back hair done up in a loose Psyche knot. 
And her frizzled bang looking like — I don't know 

what ! " 

But when the old dame 

To the next corner came. 
She heard a man loudly calling her name. 
'Twas old Deacon Black, who insisted on knowing 
What she was out for, and where she was going. • 

" Well, well," said the deacon, 

" I heard some one speakin' 
About that 'ere show that you seem to be seekin'. 
Here comes Mrs. Bunch ; we can ask her it she 
Has anv idee 
Where that circus can be." 

Mother Bunch didn't know, but she thought she 

had heard 
Of some one who said he had just caught a word 
Of what some one was saying, who told of some 

brother. 
Or cousin, or uncle, or some one or other. 
Who read in the paper that that very day 
Some kind of a show was coming that way. 

r 146 ] 




THE CRUMPS OF CRUMPLKTOWN 

Then old Mother Crump grew excited and bright, 
And she gleefully said, " I was sure I was right ! 

Good-by, now, good-by ! 

For I must be spry. 
And to find that great show I shall certainly try.'* 

She urged her Crump steed 

To the top of his speed. 
Convinced that at last her attempt would 

succeed. 
When, turning a corner, she saw a great 

crowd ; 
The noise was distracting, the laughter was 

loud! 
Then old Mother Crump was delighted to think 
She'd at last found the show ! she was just on the 

brink. 
And nothing would cause her to falter or shrink. 

But as she drew near, a strange figure she saw, 
A queer-looking person who filled her with awe, 
Of foreign extraction the stranger appeared, 
With a loose, flowing robe and a bushy black beard; 
His feet were all bandaged and padded. 

" No doubt," 
Old Mother Crump thought, " he suffers from gout." 

Then, as she drew nearer, she heard the man sav, 
" Ho ! ladies and gentlemen, step up this way 
And behold, at your pleasure, my great dancing bear. 

[ H7 ] 






THE CRUMPS OF CRUMPLETOWN 

A wonderful creature ! Beyond all compare ! 

(And of imitations 1 beg you beware !) 

He can stand on his head, with his tail in the 

air, 
Or dance on a table, or sit in a chair, 
Or climb up a ladder, or run up a stair. 

He was tracked to his lair. 

Then caught in a snare, 
And now he's as tame as a cow, I declare ! 
Oh, come, and behold my gay, dancing bear ! '* 

Dear old Mother Crump was delighted to see 
The bear, who was clever as clever could be. 

He smiled and he bowed 

To the Crumpletown crowd. 
And seemed to be almost with reason endowed. 

Mother Crump, when at last the performance was o'er, 
And again she had reached her own cottage door. 
Remarked to her cat. 
As they sat down to chat. 
She in her rocker and puss on the mat : 
" I wish you had seen it. Crump Kitty, my 

dear. 
For I'm free to confess it was awfully queer. 
^ To tame the poor creature 
V J . ^^Ji ^^^^ ^^^ seem quite right, 
^A 1 ^^K But that dancing 
^^^^^1 ji^^ Crump bear was 

^pUF a wonderful sight." 

[148] 




CINDERELLA UP TO DATE 

THE sisters to the ball had gone, 
Bedecked with gems and sashes ; 
Poor Cinderella sat alone, 
A-weeping by the ashes. 

As usual, then, the fairy Dame, 

With silks and jewels laden, 
A-tapping at the window came. 

And comforted the maiden. 

Soon Cinderella was arrayed ; 

No longer sad and wearied, 
" Why is my carriage yet delayed ? ** 

Of the good dame she queried. 

" Alas ! " her godmother replied, 

" No mice can I discover, 
Plorses to make, that you may ride 

In state to meet your lover." 

" No mice ! " dismayed the damsel spoke ; 

" But, stay — a thought comes o'er me. 
Out of the pumpkin can't you make 

An automobile for me ? " 

" Yes," said the dame ; " I think I could," 
Three times the pumpkin tapping, 

When, lo ! an automobile stooa. 
Bedecked with gorgeous trapping. 

[ H9 ] 



CINDERELLA UP TO DATE 

Then Cinderella sped away 

I n her new horseless carriage ; 

What w^onder that the Prince next day 
Should seek her hand in marriage ! 



THE WHISTLING WHALE 

A WHISTLING whale once built liis nest 
On the very tip-top of a mountain's crest ; 
He wore a tunic and blue cocked hat 
And for fear of mice he kept a cat. 

The whistling whale had a good-sized mouth, 
It measured three feet from north to south. 

But when he whistled he puckered it up 
Till it was as small as a coffee-cup. 

The people came from far and near 

This wonderful whistling whale to hear ; 

And in a most obliging way 

He stood on his tail and whistled all day. 



:o] 



A CHRISTMAS ALPHABET 

-M- -iH- 4— f 4-H- -M- -i-i- -M- -M- -M- ^~f -M- -M- 4H- -M- -M- -f—J- -r-f -•— i- t— {- -f—r-J- -f 

Ais for Apple that hangs on the tree. 
B is for Bells that chime out in glee. 
C is for Candy to please boys and girls. 
D is for Dolls with long flaxen curls. 
E is for Evergreens decking the room. • 
F is for Flowers of exquisite perfume. 
G is for Gifts that bring us delight. 
H is for Holly with red berries bright. 
I is for Ice so shining and clear. 
J is the Jingle of bells far and near. 
K is Kriss Kringle with fur cap and coat. 
L is for Letters the children all wrote. 
M is for Mistletoe, shining like wax. 
N is for Nuts which Grandpapa cracks. 
O is for Oranges, yellow and sweet. 
P for Plum Pudding, a holiday treat. 
Q,, the Quadrille in which each one must dance. 
R for the Reindeer that gallop and prance. 
S is for Snow that falls silently down. 
T is for Turkey, so tender and brown. 
U is for Uproar that goes on all day. 

V is for Voices that carol a lay. 

W, for Wreaths hung up on the wall. 
X is for Xmas, with pleasures for all. 

Y is for Yule-log that burns clear and bright, 
Z is for Zest shown from morning till night. 



[ 15' ] 



THE POMPOUS PORPOISE 

A POMPOUS Porpoise sat on a rock, 
He wore a blue coat with a very high stocky 
And a ruffly, puffly frill ; 
He said, " My wife and my children dear. 
Come range yourselves in a circle, here, 
And list while I read my will. 

" To my loving wife I give and bequeath 
My red umbrella and radish wreath. 

And my curly-wurly wig ; 
To my oldest daughter and eldest son, 
I leave you each a gingerbread gun 

And a pyrotechnic pig. 

** To the rest of my porpoise children, fat, 
I bequeath to you each a china hat 

And a green geography ; 
And now I have no more to say, 
I bid you all a very good day ! " 

And he dived down into the sea. 



[ 152 ] 



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